Let me know how good this is guys: <3 Dear mom, There’s something you need to know about me. I am transsexual. It may be hard to swallow, but know how hard it is for me to tell you this after hiding for three years. I am a girl trapped inside a boy’s body. Let me explain this: While I was still developing as a fetus, my body was being pumped with tons of hormones. I was filled with mostly female hormones, but male hormones entered my fetus and caused the development of male genitals instead of female. It’s like a birth-defect that is undetectable for years, and requires a special diagnosis from a special type of doctor. I would like to stress how real this is, and that it is in no way a psychological disorder. Gender dysphoria is a genetic and hormonal ailment, and I’m a severe case that wishes to correct this mistake made while I was developing. This is not your fault, this can happen to anyone. With your help, I would like to get a full diagnosis from a gender specialist. I’ve always aligned with more feminine things, and I started questioning my gender at 13. I came to accept/realize who I am because of how much discomfort my male body causes me. I am a beautiful teenage girl, I am not a boy. Gender dysphoria is discontent with the sex assigned at birth, and it slowly develops to the point where it haunts you and takes over your body and mind. I am at the extreme point where my desire to free myself has become so important to me, it interferes with my daily life. Realize that hiding my transsexuality has caused severe depression, and I have recently contemplated suicide. THIS. IS. REAL. I still very much love you, and dad, and Katie. Don’t take this as hateful in anyway, I am not trying to hurt you. This is not a phase, an impulsive decision, or teenage rebellion. This is who I am. I want you to know the real me, and that I am still the same person. I will always have the same personality, heart, and passion. I will always be the same person inside, with the same interests, sense of humor, etc. I will be okay. This is me wanting to fix my body. I respect that this is new to you, and you have a lot to learn before you fully understand. I still love all of you, and I assume you all love me. I know you may be worried, or concerned. But let me reassure you that I will be safe, and I can still have a happy life that includes college, a career, a family, travel - anything I want for my future previously is still possible! I am a transsexual girl, and all I ask of you is for your help. You may be in denial, or may not be accepting. Keep in mind that I will transition, with or without your help or acceptance. Whether or not it’s tomorrow, or 20 years from now. You may have the term transsexual confused with transvestite, but understand that I am transsexual: Gender Dysphoria, literally a misery with regard to gender, is the condition of being in a state of conflict between gender and physical sex. A transsexual is a person in which the sex-related structures of the brain that define gender identity are exactly opposite the physical sex organs of the body. Put even more simply, a transsexual is a mind that is literally, physically, trapped in a body of the opposite sex. Being a transsexual is not something that can be ignored or suppressed forever. Unlike the fascinations of the crossdresser or the partially altered transgenderist, the absolute compulsion of classical transsexualism is a matter of life and death. Social oppression, culturally indoctrinated shame, self-loathing, and bigotry slaughter transsexuals. With treatment and support, comes survival and a successful life. The success rate for the treatment of transsexuals is among the highest in medicine. There is tremendous social bigotry -and often outright violence- expressed towards the transsexual, and this often makes the life of the transsexual very difficult. Some transsexuals who have completely successful in transition to the appropriate sex therefore choose varying degrees of secrecy about their state and history. Other transsexuals never succeed in transforming physically to the point of being undetectable as transsexuals, and tend to suffer accordingly. Transsexuals suffer many hurdles to achieve their required correction of the error of their birth. They must face society, the medical establishment, the common loss of all family and friends, the cost of treatment, the extreme difficulty of the required 'half-way' phase of transition which may last up to two years, and the inner turmoil of self-doubt and conditioned self-loathing of their condition. It has been estimated (in 1981) that about 50% do not survive the malady, ending up dead by the age of 30, usually by their own hand. Almost all of this morbidity is attributed to the additional burden caused by the violent unacceptance of society, the rejection of family and friends, and the inability to find decent care. The drive that motivates the transsexual is essentially a matter of life and death. IN A NUTSHELL: Transsexuals suffer because they are trapped in a body of the wrong sex. This hurts so much that they are driven to fix that problem, or die trying. Transsexuality begins in the womb and occurs in many animals besides man. Transsexuality and homosexuality seem to share a common prenatal causality, but are not the same thing. Transsexuality is sometimes associated with things it is not really related to, such as crossdressing, for social or political reasons. Those were some facts pulled off of a trustworthy website. Now I want to get more personal with this. I know dad is a transphobe, since I’ve asked him about his view on transgender. He also told me that if I ever wore a dress, he’d put a bullet in my head. I know he’d react violently to this, but I’m willing to accept his aggression. I will not hide anymore, I will not be controlled by fear and bigotry. You can’t control this. No matter what you say, you can’t change who I am. You can’t force me to suffer to please yourself or society, you can’t pretend this isn’t real. I want you to be with me, not against me. I need help, and I’m desperately reaching out for your support. Since I’m under 18, I need your help. Whether you like it or not, I am a girl and I will never stop trying to express myself. I will transition, and I will live as a woman. I need you to help me transition. I need you to take me to counselors, doctors, etc. I need you to help me get hormones and therapy. I most importantly need you to be there for me, and I need your support. There’s a pride center here on the island. I want this to be easy for you, as it will be hard for me. I’m extending out my hand, all I need you to do is take it. This part you really won’t like; I’ve already stated what I need from you, the list will grow once I start taking steps in my transition. If you wanted to, you could help me with feminizing my appearance. You could show me how to wear and use makeup, how to do my hair, shave, how to dress. I want you to accept me as your daughter. I am not your son, I am your daughter. Your help and support are critical to me. I can and will explain this in greater depth. I want you to treat me as your daughter. I want to wear dresses, skirts, and women’s shoes. I want you to use she/her pronouns with me. I will not answer to male pronouns at home anymore. My name is Natasha Elyssa Caprice, and I want you to call me this as it is my real name. I need to do this, for the sake of my health and well being. Please, take my hand and help me through this. Accept my heartfelt plea. No matter what, all I want is to know that you’ll support and help me through this. This cannot be changed, it’s not something I can ignore. It’s not something that the church, whoever you get to talk to me, or any doctor can change. The only options are: Life and Death. Enable me to be happy, free me from my prison…or keep me locked up and force me into a short-life of misery where I’ll end up killing myself. I’m ready for the hate and bigotry, I am stronger than them and will rise above them. And if you scorn or detest me, same goes for you. I don’t care, I will not run from myself and hide anymore. I am Natasha, and I am a woman. Nothing you can say or do can change that. Hop on the train before it leaves the station, there won’t be another. Regardless of what happens, I will fully identify as female in college and live as a woman for the rest of my life. Keep in mind that you’re not the victim of a heinous crime or sin. I am the one who’s suffering. I am the one who feels pain every day. As I’ve proven in middle school, I can live without your help and support. Juts know that this will happen with or without you and our family, and the few friends I have. You can tell anyone you like. Oh, and thank Katie. She’s the one who motivated me to come out. I’ve been out to her since April, and my own fear and thoughts kept me in the closet. I’m not afraid of you, dad, or anyone. I say to the world “BRING IT ON!” and will not let any amount of terror and harassment control me or negatively impact me. Before you let your emotions get to you, think of how hard this is for me to do. This is me coming out as transsexual. I have nothing else to say. Sincerely, your daughter: Natasha Elyssa Caprice.
That was very well-written, I think. You put emotion into it, which is important, of course, but you also put information that would assist her on trying to understand you better. That's really helpful, and I think the balance between the feelings and the facts is good, since you almost have to legitimize it to her, you know? It's a great letter. Critique? I kind of agree with TheRealHunter- You might need to work more on paragraph separation, and the organization is mostly good but in the first big paragraph, honestly, to me, it's a little blurry. Similar to the third. Overall, I think it was well-written, and I hope she understands and treats you like your daughter. It takes a lot to come out- especially with how you mentioned your family was in other threads. Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you
It does have paragraph separation. That's just how it came up with copy/paste from word to here. But thanks for the kind words and critique. <3 Edit: I did look over it again, and I will make the paragraphs look better. <3
