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Fear of self-injection? (Unable to do my T shots)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Groosenator, Oct 14, 2015.

  1. Groosenator

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    So I have been on testosterone for about 7 months now, and my shot itself doesn't really bother me. I can fill the syringe, sterilize, etc. all on my own. And once the needle is in, I also don't have a problem injecting and cleaning up.

    The ONLY part I can't do is the dart throwing motion. I can't bring myself to just... stab my leg with that needle. I think it's an instinctual hesitation really. In my head I know it won't hurt or at least if it does then only minimally. I know that I've done it many times before, I know it won't be that bad.

    And yet, for some reason, I just can't do the puncturing part. I have a coworker who has generously agreed to help me so I don't have to drive and visit a nurse after work every time I need my shot, but I would really REALLY like to be able to do it myself. Every time I sit in my room for easily an hour trying to psych myself up and just DO IT but I just can't get past that instant.

    Has anyone else had trouble doing this or has any advice for how to get past that moment of hesitation?
     
  2. Kira

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    I'm actually type 1 diabetic, so I'm supposed to be giving myself shots... I can't bring myself to do it either. I have to have somebody else do it while I look away. I'm sort of known for being weak, and faint of heart. It's been over a year now and still can't force myself to do the actual "stabby" part.

    I guess I have a similar problem, but I haven't found any sort of solution.
     
  3. Daydreamer1

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    I couldn't self inject for the first two months. It would send me into panic attacks and I wouldn't be able to relax enough for my partner to do them for me. Eventually I was able to do it, and it's been pretty easy since--granted, I still get anxious some days and can't bring myself to do them right away.

    Three things I find that help:

    1) Smaller needles: If you don't do sub-q injections, talk to your doctor about seeing if that's an available option. The needles for IM injections are pretty big because it needs to be able to go through the fat layers and into your muscle. Sub-q on the other hand, are much smaller because they don't need to go too deep to reach the fat. I've been doing sub-q from the start, and I'm thankful that this is what my endo does for all his patients, because there's no way in hell I'd be able to do IM--since I have one of the most intense needle phobias out there.

    2) Close your eyes: If you do sub-q injections, try closing your eyes when you do it after doing practice jabs. When I do it with my eyes closed, I barely feel it even more so than I usually would. The anticipation of the needle is what screws a lot of us over, and cutting off one of our senses can help a lot, in my eyes.

    3) Distractions: From the time I started, I had to have something in the background to focus on. So I turned to music as a way to help me relax, and it generally helps. I got to the point where I'd be able to prep and inject before a short song was over with, with one time I was able to do it before a theme song was done. Also, try having a reward in place for yourself when you're done--like a snack, a movie to unwind with, or anything that you like. Hey, you've earned it!
     
  4. Kasey

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    Aren't there androgens in gel form?
     
  5. Matto_Corvo

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    I don't think they are as effective as the injections
     
  6. hh43dd

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    They're not, which is pretty obvious. Gels are applied on the skin, injections are directly injected into the blood. You also have T in pill form and things like that but they usually don't recommend it unless you're really afraid of needles.
     
  7. Daydreamer1

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    T is injected into fat or muscle, not into the blood directly (though it eventually absorbs into the blood stream).
     
  8. BradThePug

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    I cannot do the stabbing motion either. I usually just push the needle in slowly until it goes through. It takes longer this way, but it's the only way that I've ever been able to do my shot.
     
  9. hh43dd

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    ...right. I meant that.. :eusa_doh:
    Muscle tissue. Then blood. I thought there were other options when it came to needles other than muscle tissue since there are also cases where the needle is much thinner than the one necessary to inject into the muscle..?
     
  10. PossumJack

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    I've seen FtMs who use androgel and other kinds of gel-based testosterone and it doesn't look like it's any less effective than injections. The only downside to it seems to be that you need to apply it daily and try not to come into skin-to-skin contact with anyone for one or two hours afterwards. Well, that and it's definitely more expensive if your insurance doesn't cover it. If your fear of injection is that bad, using another form of T is definitely an option worth considering.
     
    #10 PossumJack, Oct 16, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2015
  11. Groosenator

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    As for gels, I hear they are pretty effective, but they are also arguably less convenient because they have to be applied daily (as compared to every other week as my doctor is having me do now) but more importantly, I believe they are more expensive as well.

    As for the T pill someone mentioned, I believe they have all but eliminated these due to the heavy damage they cause on the liver.

    I really do believe the injectable is what is right for me, I just can't get past the moment of hesitation when I give myself my shots.

    @Brad - I might end up having to do that as well. Hopefully I'll get the motion down right but maybe next time I'll try that. Is it pretty painful if you do it slow like that?
     
    #11 Groosenator, Oct 17, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2015
  12. Daydreamer1

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    Eh, it depends. For me, my injections are usually pain-free. There are a few times where it does hurt a bit, but it could be a number of things (going too slow, the anticipation, scar tissue), so I don't know.

    I've never done IM, so I can't speak on that and if that's painful.