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It's happening.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Natasha Elyssa, Oct 15, 2015.

  1. Natasha Elyssa

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    I'm going to come out to my mom tonight. I spent hours working on my coming out letter, making it multiple pages long, and I'm going to give it to her tonight. My sister was supposed to help me, but she made plans to go out with friends after work, so I've decided to suck it up and do it myself. Wish me luck! <3 :slight_smile: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride::jawdrop::redface:frowning2:*hug*)
     
    #1 Natasha Elyssa, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  2. PerfectLie

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    Good luck! I wish you all the best! :grin:
     
  3. Hawk

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    Good luck, I wish you the best, and I hope everything goes well. (*hug*)
     
  4. Natasha Elyssa

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    :eek::frowning2::icon_eek::icon_excl:icon_redf*Update*
    She came home, and I gave her the letter. I left,and went for a walk. She texted me to come back, and when I did she told me that we'll talk when she gets back from picking up my sister.
     
    #4 Natasha Elyssa, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  5. Mags the Goron

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    I hope all goes well! Good luck!
     
  6. Natasha Elyssa

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    I feel horrified to be honest. I feel like this won't end well.
     
    #6 Natasha Elyssa, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  7. loveislove01

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    (*hug*)
    I really hope it goes well...
     
  8. HardToSay

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    Stay strong! you only lve once, don't do what I did: I sacrificed my(true)self for my parents and I regret it, I missed out on my youth.

    Best of luck, Girl, hang in there and don't give up on who ou are no matter what she says.
     
  9. Natasha Elyssa

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    Well, she came home and just said "we'll talk about it later" and gave me a bag of Burger King. I don't know what to do, or what's going to happen.
     
  10. FootballFan101

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    Prepare for the worst, expect the best sister
     
  11. Jalo

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    Tell us what happens! I hope it turns out okay
     
  12. Natasha Elyssa

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    I just talked to her for about an hour or whatever. She said that she didn't understand and needed time to accept this, etc. She started crying and stuff, she says that she's not okay and can't accept this yet. She doesn't like it, she's scared of my dad too, and she doesn't know anything about this. Even though I literally put nothing but facts in the letter. She hates my name. She seems to have the impression that the internet has something to do with me and stuff. She absolutely refuses to go to LGBT to get me help, she thinks that they're going to hurt me or that other people will hurt me. She's incredibly paranoid and sees this as a bad thing for me. She's not supportive, but she's not against me. I've calmed her down, and she said that she just needs time. I convinced her to help me get help and stuff. She said that she will help me find a gender therapist, etc. and told me to talk to my school counselor. She was really upset that I was worried that she would hurt me or throw me out and that's why she started crying. She had the typical reaction: "Your my son, I gave birth to a boy. I don't understand this." No matter how many time I tried to ex lain it to her, she kept saying she didn't understand. She wants to finish high school, and go to college. She wants me to stay hidden until I go to college. She was really upset about things you'd think she would have reacted lesser to. She says her main concern was my safety, stuff like that. Other than that, she's basically going to get me help but won't support or accept this. At least not yet. It went better than the worst case scenario, but definitely not the best. We'll see. Anyway, thanks for the support guys! <3 :slight_smile:
     
  13. Jalo

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    She just sounds uneducated upon the subject. She will probably come around with time. Stay strong Natasha! (*hug*)
     
  14. Natasha Elyssa

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    :icon_redf(*hug*):icon_sad:Thanks! <3
     
  15. FootballFan101

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    Stay strong girl
     
  16. TheRealTheaJane

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    Give her a little bit of time to think over it all before bringing it up again: mothers can be terrible at the best of times, and it seems she's in denial at the moment. Don't do anything immediately to shock her any more right now, but slowly introduce more and more of yourself bit by bit.

    At least she's willing to help you! This could be a reaction to "fix you" which of course, cannot be done quite so easily. This will also allow her to talk to the therapist too, and it will help you a lot!

    I think it's important to remind her that times have changed. Being transgender is in the media a lot now, and most people have heard of it, even if they don't understand it. Also remind her that our generation is very much accepting, and the risk to your safety is actually quite minimal. Also let her know that there is nothing other people can do to hurt you that can upset you any more than you are already with this.

    Maybe use the analogy of being left/right handed. Why doesn't she use the other hand? because it feels natural to her. It's uncomfortable to use the other hand to write with. The opposite hand here being the opposite gender.

    You're so strong! Full admiration for going ahead with it, and now it's in the open! So many hugs! (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)

    Slight word in here: don't push your luck! My mother reacted the same except I insisted and argued when she referred to me as male, and now I apparently have no mother (disowned). Take it slow, and get the therapist as soon as you can!

    Again, really well done Natasha! x
     
    #16 TheRealTheaJane, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  17. Natasha Elyssa

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    Yeah I tried to explain that times have changed, and people are more accepting nowadays. But she didn't want to hear it. To be honest, she thinks that me owning a computer is letting predators into my life. She's a bit paranoid. But thanks for the support! :slight_smile: <3
     
  18. Eveline

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    You were really brave and deserve to be proud of yourself. I'm sorry it didn't go as well as you hoped. I'm glad that you are going to go to a gender therapist maybe they will be able to talk to your parents for you and help them accept it better but most importantly it will give you a place where you can be yourself and receive acceptance and support. My mother responded in an extremely similar manner and I'm 34 so it is a fairly common reaction. Be patient and accept this as part of the journey of trsnsitioning and that like everything a challenge that takes a long time to complete.

    Much hugs,

    (*hug*)

    Yael
     
    #18 Eveline, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  19. Jalo

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    takes notes
     
  20. DreamerBoy17

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    Stay strong girl! We'll all be here for you! (*hug*)