Recently I have finally gotten my parents to allow me to see nail polish. It made me instantly feel so much better about my self and we a huge boost to my confidence. I also started seeing a gender therapist but have so far only been to one session. My parents seem somewhat supportive, but somewhat not. I have been told not to come out for anyine, am completely banned from coming out to restiform my family, and then won't use my pronouns or name. The want the therapist so they know I am real, and that my identity is valid and to see where things go. The past few weeks have been horrible, despite the nail polish victory and I am genuinely surprised I have got away with as few cuts as I have, and how shallow they are. I feel so bad and so completely worthless. I hate myself and how I am forced to present as male and be seen as a guy. I really really hate my life right now, and how I can't be me. That being said,I really really want some makeup. Even just some eyeliner, which is probably all I can get away with anyway. My parents still think the nail polish is more related to my being goth than being a girl. Yet I also don't want to just start wearing makeup without permission if I don't have to. Ahhh. I'm just in a bad place and want little more confidence, since all of mine is completely torn away every hour. Any advice?
Are you dressing up for Halloween? If you are, maybe you can ask your parents for some makeup for your "costume".
I would go with what hawk said but if not can you buy some makeup or stuff from the store and hide it somewhere?
Halloween, most definitely Halloween! You ould wear a costume that Looks like waht I amwearing in the Picture you see if you go to my Profile, I think it would be fun for you! Hang in there and stay strong: the world is alot netter than 30 years go!
