So, I have a plan. Well, more of a step by step guide. Step one is to make an appointment with my GP on Tuesday and talk about being transgender. Because they need to refer me to the therapist I'm closest to/want to go to. Step two is to tell my dad about it when I go home next week, effectively coming out. And then maybe he'll help me tell my mum. Step one is actually the one I'm struggling with. I suffer from severe anxiety and I hate telling anyone, let alone strangers, about my private life, and I wish that HRT was as simple as just saying I needed it and being prescribed it. But it's not and I'm willing to accept that and go through the motions. BUT I have no idea what to say to the GP, I just know that I'll go in there and clam up. That's basically my question, my reason for making this thread; what do I say to the GP? How do I get the ball rolling, so to speak? Any advice would be awesome, because I want to make that appointment but I'm starting to freak out.
Maybe you could write out everything you have to say and then hand the GP the paper when you walk in. That way, there is no way for you to clam up, you just give them a piece of paper and have them read it. I know how hard it can be to open up to people (*hug*) I hope everything goes well.
So the doctors opens in about four hours. And to say I'm freaking out a little is an understatement. I like the idea of writing down what I want to say, I've done it a few times, I just have no idea what to put. I want it to be concise, but thorough, but I have no idea what they'll ask, which makes it hard to combine the two. Ugh. One day the things I want in life will come at least a little easier.
So I went yesterday. It's taken me the day to come to terms with what happened. I wrote what I needed down, but in the end I didn't use it. The doctor asked me questions and I was able to answer. I could say it went well, but... well, it didn't go badly, but it could have gone better maybe. -The doctor asked me about how I found my 'research'. This place came up in general terms, like I told him I was on a forum but I didn't name it and he didn't ask, I told him I looked for trans people who shared their stories, I looked on websites like the NHS and the gender clinic I'll most likely be sent to. You know, it wasn't by people who didn't know what they were talking about (his words). -He knew from my medical notes that I'm on track for a therapist for anxiety and depression, so he kept asking about my childhood and trauma and dealing with it, thinking I had molded this idea of who I am because of it. -He kept saying that questioning my sexual identity was common and I wanted to punch him because 1, I was not questioning my sexuality, I was talking about my gender and 2, gender identity and biological sex are not the same, so either way he looked at it he was wrong. Basically, he doubted me. I don't care, because I went in there thinking he would. But he also gave me the details for the anxiety/depression therapist, like the other doctor didn't, and said that they will help me with my problems and most likely refer me to a 'specialist for gender', which is what I wanted. So I'm not going to complain about how the appointment went, because it still led me to the result I was hoping for. I got in touch with the therapist as soon as I got home, I'm just waiting now.
