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Every-Phobic Parents

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by InLoveWithAGirl, Oct 24, 2015.

  1. InLoveWithAGirl

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    So, recently I have started to accept that I am transgender. I had already accepted the fact that my sexual preference is females, but that was a struggle that I have been dealing with for a couple of years and have only just recently accepted at that.

    The problem I am facing now is my parents.

    I am a minor. I am so close to being an adult (only two years off) and yet I am thoroughly under my parents thumb.

    I get away with a lot, but I put aside a lot of what I want for them.

    My father has always been phobic. My mom didn't used to be. She was brainwashed by church (hate using that phrase since I believe in God, but...). They won't accept that I like girls.

    I haven't told them that I am transgender.

    How do I get around that?

    They won't get me a haircut. (Part of that is money issues, time issues etc. However I find that they keep putting it off and even though my hair is shorter now, it isn't enough and I know they hate it being as short as it is now).
    I could never ask them to shop for me in the men's department.
    I can't ask for a binder.
    I have no idea how to even broach the topic with them.

    I think the hardest part for me is that I'm ready to accept myself and start to transition. At school there are several people who know me by my chosen name and use the right pronouns etc. (GSA). However, I can't transition completely without my parents help.

    I don't fully understand how it works, but from what I'm reading I need to talk to my therapist about this extensively, prove to her I really am transgender and then get the ok to start taking hormones and whatnot. (Please correct me if I'm wrong!!!!)

    But being a minor I'm stuck...so what can I do? What should I do?
     
  2. Jalo

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    I just wanted to point out something very quickly- you are sixteen. You may know how to drive by now. If you can get a job, even a minimum-wage one, you can drive to it (assuming your parents will let you drive their car if they have one, or if you have your own car. But you said your family was tight on money, so I doubt it). Or you could potentially carpool with a friend. With a job, you can earn money. Go to the mall and buy the clothes you want. If you're feeling risky, go get a haircut as well. Your parents can't give you much shit if you paid for it by yourself, right?

    Also, the therapist. I haven't seen one about gender yet but I highly doubt you need to 'prove' anything. You ARE a man, and that's all there is to it. However, a few sessions of therapy may be required to get testosterone simply because HRT (especially testosterone HRT) changes your body, and some changes are permanent. You need to be aware of the effects (good and bad), what's permanent and what's not permanent, etc. You'll probably need a signed permission slip from your parents since you are still a minor in our country, which may be a problem. Note that if you do start testosterone, you will also need to figure out a way to pay for it, which, from the sounds of it, your parents would not be willing to do. Also, if you somehow manage your parents to give their permission and have them fork up the money (I highly doubt you will be able to pay for it by yourself), then you may have to wait up to a few months. There was a MtF teenager who had to wait 2.5 YEARS to get her estrogen. Keep in mind insurance will also have a play into how much it costs, and how fast you will be able to get it.

    I hope this helped, and good luck out there!
     
  3. InLoveWithAGirl

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    Wow, I completely forgot about the fact that hormones would cost money (probably a lot)

    :0

    And yeah, they won't pay for it. They won't believe me. They're all bible and my dad hates LGBTQA+. My mom used to say that bisexual didn't exist. Now, she just flat out won't accept anything.

    I can't drive. I have no license. I have no idea how to drive. They don't want to pay for me to get the driving classes or whatever and there isn't a car for me to drive. We have one working car and my dad takes it to work so more often than not my mom has to wait for weekends to shop or my dad has to carpool and leave the car for mom.

    ---------- Post added 25th Oct 2015 at 11:42 AM ----------

    I am contemplating a job. During the summer it will be easier for me to do this. Right now, I'm struggling to keep up with school in some areas (I have commitments that take up my weekends and afternoons).

    I also do tutoring. So I'm hoping to save up from that. It's only eight dollars an hour so it will take a while. But that is way better than nothing and it's a place to start.
     
  4. Jalo

    Jalo Guest

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    Ah, I see. Well, now I cannot say much. You'll most likely have to stick through two more years. Don't get too down, though! It's almost 2016, and two years ago, it was late 2013. Not that long ago, right? I don't know what month you were born in but before you know it, you'll be eighteen.
     
  5. InLoveWithAGirl

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    Yesh! And I'm excited for it!! It's in the beginning of the year so it's not too awful far away and school is a pretty good refuge for my feelings so in some way, I can take comfort in being real there.

    Thank you for your reply!!!