Something's been bothering me lately. Names. I picked my own that I like right now, Cody. I was talking to my mom last night, who I just came out to, and she asked me if I'd chosen a name. She said she liked it, but didn't seem overly excited. Is it too arrogant and rude to parents to choose your own name? I told her she could use my old name and pronouns until I begin seriously socially transitioning. I'm giving her a lot of time to adjust. I just feel really bad, like I'm easily shedding off this name she spent a long time picking out. I guess the most logical thing would be letting her pick me a new name but I want a name that fits me, that I embody, not something someone else chose. Anyone else feeling really guilty?
You're allowed to choose your own name. Part of the process of transitioning is being able to make that decision for yourself. Parents often like it when you let them choose or help choose, but you are in no way obligated to do that. I chose my own name without asking my mom (because I chose it two years before I came out to her), and she's told me names she wishes I would use, but she understands that ultimately this is my choice. It's my name, I get the final say. The same goes for you. Your name, your choice.
Time will tell best, I'd say, as well as keeping some communication going between the two of you. From the sounds of it, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume your mother may feel she is "losing a daughter". You are, after all, her baby. That shouldn't be how she sees it, but it is understandable why she may.
