I need an advice

Hello everybody! I am glad that I found this forum so I can express my very personal problems and thoughts which are killing me.

I am 18 years old guy living in a small town. Very soon I am going to leave my birthplace and live in the capital of my country or somewhere in Western Europe and I cant wait.

But this spring, at the end of May, I met that guy who is 15 years older than me - he's almost 33 years old. He has relatives in the small town where I live and comes often to visit them during summer while he lives in the capital. Our date was suposed to be a one night stand, but it rasied into something very special (or at least I think so). Before I met him I was confident too, but there was always something empty in me. I was expecting my prince on a white horse so bad and I always thought that he will come without me searching him and a bit later in life..It did happen indeed, without me expecting anything BUT in a period when I am still quite dependent on my parents.

Everything between us happened very fast - we started going nude to the beach almost every day where we were exploring ourselves and flirting. It was amazing experience. He was always saying that he found the best boy in the country and doesnt know what to do. And if I were older, he would take me with him...However it came the time when he had to leave..he bought me some expensive presents and we said goodbye. I took everything as a good experience and I was never expecting anything further. But then he started writing me everyday and I was very happy about this. He was warning me that he is a trash and that I shouldnt even write him just because he bought me something, but that didnt matter for me. Everything between us involved into a long distance relationship. The first two months he came to me often, but then he offered me to come to him in the capital (we were planning this just the second time he came to me). The only way this could happen was to lie my parents that I work in some coastal resort - and I did so. It all worked and I succesfuly lied my parents almost 2 months. I knew that I am doing very risky thing, but everything happened at the moment and I didnt think about any possible consequences.

He has very big horse business outside the capital and I was some kind of partner to him. I helped him with the horses, he was taking me almost everywhere with himself. It was just a wonderful experience exploring the rural life as I have been always living in a town and never had a chance to see such things on a daily basis. I also had the chance to explore the night life of the big city.

Despite everything being one very nice adventure, during that time we had quite a lot fights. He describes very often his first boyfriend which he had at the age of 25 when he was still curious. He often compares me with him and I think that he sees physical and mental similairty between me and his first boyfriend The very first time when we had a fight it was when we were just flirting and he told me he had sex with his ex boyfriend. During our whole, nearly 6 months relationship he is always trying to convince me that people who love each other don't make problems if someone is cheating. I closed my eyes for this because it happened before we were oficially together. When I went back to my town I had a trip to Italy and while I was there he told me that his ex gave him a blowjob. There was a very big fight and it happened something that happens always - he starts to blame me for something and I start to search something wrong in me. Its me who is always calling him, writing him and he always says that he has job.

I saw him for last time before more than a month. He says that he is working hard because he has to return a lot of money to friends and at the same time he doesnt have any. And the last week we had very bad fights. First he didnt call me for hours from 20:00 till 22:00 despite him being not to work. I called him almost 30 times and at the end I send him a message "end" and he didnt answer me for a week. And during this week I was sending him messages and calling him while he ignored me. I ignored him aswell and he called me the second day. He told me that I am always in his head and that he would never cheat on me at least for now. I was again very happy until I found a way to see the profiles from his city on the dating site we met. I was almost sure that I would found him there, but I didnt. I was also sure that I will find his friend and I did. My plan was to offer him a threesome to see if he is going to offer my boyfriend but accidently I sent my pic and he told about what happened to my bf. At first he said that there is no problem that I was testing him and he told me that he will call me later because he's going to his parents. when he called me later he started saying how could I do this, tht he wants to be alone. That he doesnt need relationships. The same things he says all the time when something more uncomofrtable happens.

He insists that I am the second person in his life that he is going to love and remember forever. He makes me much more confident, I see a huge change in myself - be it lifestyle or looks. But at the same time I am not very sure if he is not just playing with me. Last year during this period I had very deep depression and I think I am going throught the same deep depression again...

What are your opinions? Is he taking advantage of me? I am very confused. Sorry for my broken English, I havent been practising it since very long time.

---------- Post added 13th Nov 2015 at 12:26 AM ----------

Ohh, I think I confused the subforums. Can a Mod move the thread in the right subforum?

 

He had told me many times that he was very confused during his first relationship (the guy that he compares to me). For example when he was driving and his ex boyfriend touched him for the leg he made a huge problem for it. But now he is the one touching while driving. Sometimes I have the feeling that he is doing some things that he considers wrong from his past.

He once told me that his first boyfriend would be very happy if they were together now.