As the title suggests...I'm pretty sure I'm trans now. I've been fighting, battling and wishing it away but it's starting to become a nightmare. My boobs, although small, look out of place on my body. I lift weights so I have broad shoulders, big arms and a wide back. So it doesn't look right to me now. I guess I ignored them for years, didn't really see them on my body. But now I suppose the right term would be is "tolerate". I tolerate them. I was born with them and I have them. I don't hate my vagina. I don't. But sometimes when having sex with my girlfriend, I close my eyes and imagine I have a penis. Not every time. But I do think about it. And on that note, my girlfriend has started to wonder if I am trans. When the topic of conversation happens upon trans people (we talk about all subjects really), I say how unnatural it is to mess with the form you were born with...I think I'm deflecting because I'm not sure I wholeheartedly agree with what I say. Perhaps part fear of the thought of multiple surgeries and part dismay that I wasn't born a bloke. I see people, interact with them and think about how wasted their gender is on them...why couldn't they be born female and I was born their gender? Wishful thinking. I hate wearing bras. Hate it. I hate women's underwear. I hate women's clothing. I hate that I have to use the female toilets at work...and I get looks when I do because of my masculine appearance. My biggest fear? Perhaps self imposed...is the fact that I've worked for my large company for years and years. People know me. I have to go to meetings. And if I transitioned, I would definitely be treated differently. It would absolutely hinder my career prospects. As if being clearly a flaming lesbian wasn't enough of a stigma to battle against. I'm not sure what I'm asking the forum for. I'm not sure whether I've made my own mind up. Transitioning seems impossible. I earn a decent salary but I want to progress even further to live a comfortable life. And by 'coming out' for a second time in my life, I can absolutely see how it would impact every single element. What a pickle.
Hello, Perhaps you could start with something small like wearing underwear made for guys, as nobody else would see this. You could try wearing slightly larger clothing that hide your breasts. You could also buy some guys clothing [if anybody asks and you panic, say it's for Christmas for a friend/relative] and wear it around the house, when nobody's in, until you're ready to go out with it on. I find it hard to believe people get stigmatised for things like this so really hard to come to terms with the fact it happens. Bath is in the UK right? If so, there's the discrimination human rights law that means you can't discriminate against gender/re-assignment. Reference: BTEC level 3 health and social care by Moonie, N. et al.
Hi there, I already wear guys clothing, it fits my body shape. For me, it's the outward acknowledgement of gender reassignment. It really is extremely stigmatised in this day and age. I cannot imagine how people would react or treat me.
What I think is, if people don't like me, then I don't like them. I either tell them to go away, or I leave. Can't be bothered to stay somewhere I'm not wanted. But maybe it's different when you have a job, perhaps you could speak to a good friend at work you have about helping you transition. So perhaps changing the gender pronouns and calling you by your new name if you're changing it. Subtle changes always are most effective in the end, as people won't realize the massive change by the end of it. Perhaps you could try fake models of the gender parts, I think they make those anyway, so you can sort-of know what it'd look like when it's changed.
