I have some questions that I need answered by someone over 25. I say that, because I need the perspective of relative life experiences, not because I view anyone younger as inferior. 1. I think I may be trans (FtM). How do I even begin to accept that? 2. What are the stages? 3. How does one come out? Especially to co workers? 4. Surgery scares me, especially the thought of messing about with my lower half. What are the alternatives when using male bathrooms? 5. Testosterone - forever? Frequency of injections? 6. Changing gender legally, how does that work? 7. And an emotional question - the thought of admitting it makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed and a freak. How would I get over my perception of being trans? Apologies if any of the above offends anyone. I have no one else I feel comfortable talking this through with. Thanks in advance.
Welcome to EC! I'm not a trans man, so I can't answer all of this, but I have dated trans men and have some close trans male friends, so I'll try to give a partial answer to #4 to get the ball rolling.... #4 - Regarding surgery, I have heard that the surgical options for top surgery are pretty good, depending on how well endowed one is, but that bottom surgery options are pretty unsatisfactory right now. As a result, many trans men I know choose to have top surgery, but no bottom surgery. Often taking testosterone enlarges the clitoris quite a bit, creating what some folks call a trans cock, which seems to be satisfying enough for many trans men. Of course, individual results vary, and satisfaction depends on the level of dysphoria one experiences. I know less about bathroom options. There are devices like the go-girl and p-style that are designed to help women pee standing up, and I have heard that some trans men use these. Honestly, though, someone else should chime in on this. Good luck!
I'll start by continuing on the answer to question 4... There are FTM options for STPs anything from what was previously mentioned (which are not specifically designed for FTMs) to realistic-looking ones. There are some that are singularly STPs and some that are also packers (ones that simulate having junk as well as allowing you to stand to pee).They can start to get pricey, but it seems that you get what you pay for. (Disclaimer: I don't have one but have done research and looked at reviews.) For changing your legal documentation, what I have found is that you just need to provide proof of some sort of transition such as medical form or something from top surgery or something. It seems a bit fuzzy to me still but if you look up individual info on where you live you'll probably find more concrete info. The questions about accepting being trans to yourself and coming out to others is something that, unfortunately, you have to figure out what works best for you. There is no magic answer which will solve it all. I know that is frustrating to hear because I'm kind of in the same place, but it is getting easier for me as time goes on. Telling one friend who was/is supportive has given me a lot to work with. And admitting it out loud has given me much more ownership of my identity and being proud of myself for who I am.
Thanks for taking the time to respond both. Such an uncharted territory for me and I'm the type of person that needs all the information before I make a decision. The emotional aspect doesn't help either. I really thought by bulking up with weightlifting, keeping my hair short and dressing masculine would be enough.
