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would you call this gender fluid, i have no idea what i am :(

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by ruby421, Nov 21, 2015.

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  1. ruby421

    ruby421
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    ok so here is my story of how i feel, i think i am gender fluid..but i dont know.

    so growing up i was sorta girly until i turned about 9 and then i started picking my own clothes..then it got very boyish, board shorts, baggy stuff, dragon themed tee's i remember my dad constantly having to tell people, "no this is my daughter, not my son" which made me feel like i did something wrong in the way that i was.
    and i remembered my mom's joke "she is a boy in a girls body"...which was strange to me, my dad got pissed when she said that, so that stopped being her answer.

    but for the past year it has been a mixture of pretty stuff and very male stuff when it comes to my style, so here i am 14 and questioning the shit out of my gender.
    one thing that confuses me is how i was when i was little, i hated the idea of having boobs, and i also had many dreams about being a boy, so i was very unsure of who i was from like 9-13, but i have became a lot more comfortable with the fact that i am female, and i am comfortable with my body, but i feel a lot more comfortable when i am dressing and acting male... it kinda depends on how i feel, is this weird? what would you call any of this

    PS. almost all my dreams are from a male POV..i am not sure if that means anything
     
    #1 ruby421, Nov 21, 2015
  2. InfinityonHigh

    InfinityonHigh
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    Gender fluid means that your gender identity changes over time. Does feeling more comfortable acting in a traditionally masculine way happen basically all the time? Or does it only happen on some days? Gender identity can be reflected through how you feel more comfortable presenting yourself in terms of gender. If your gender identity doesn't change, then there's the possibility of you being a binary trans guy, or transmasculine of some sort but with a gender identity that stays the same all the time. If you do, then you probably are gender fluid. I have a feeling that you are trans of some sort (gender fluid fits under the trans umbrella btw)
     
    #2 InfinityonHigh, Nov 21, 2015
  3. ruby421

    ruby421
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    i feel masculine about 70% of the time, and the other 30% i feel feminine and as girly..well as i can get :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    which pretty much means a nice feminine hair style and girl clothes...but some days i feel really feminine, and others i feel really masculine...like i even carry myself differently, like more confidence, stronger, and other days i just feel..strange and kinda like i dont know what i want...is that a strange thing to feel?
     
    #3 ruby421, Nov 21, 2015
  4. InfinityonHigh

    InfinityonHigh
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    While I personally never had this experience, this does sound like you might be genderfluid.
     
    #4 InfinityonHigh, Nov 21, 2015
  5. Just Jess

    Just Jess
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    There's no substitute for self discovery and no way anyone else can answer this question for you.

    Picking the right label won't do you any good anyway. If you need to make life changes, you do. If you need certain things in the bedroom, you do. If you don't experience dysphoria, you're attracted to who you're with, and they're attracted to you, congrats :slight_smile:

    Labels are just for describing reality. They aren't a substitute for reality, and they don't affect reality.

    The only consequence to getting the label wrong, is if it affects your decision to pursue or not pursue HRT. Testosterone will cause dysphoria in some people, estrogen will cause it in others. Other than that, it really doesn't matter from a consequences standpoint. HRT also isn't for everyone, and there are plenty of trans people who don't pursue it and don't need it.

    That's not saying they don't matter. The right label still matters to me, and I'm sure it does to you. I'm not downplaying that. I'm just saying, maybe give yourself room to explore, and don't be so fast to find a hard and fast answer?

    You know you're more comfortable when you dress and act male? How about just trying that in different situations? Have a close friend call you "he" for a day and see how it feels?

    You don't need anyone's permission and any label to be you :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Just Jess, Nov 21, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2015
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