What Does Dysphoria Feel Like?

That could be dysphoria. I can't judge 100%, because I'm not you, but I do feel like that sometimes; like I think about who I am on the outside and it's all wrong. Dysphoria is looking in the mirror and what I see reflected back at me is just wrong, or looking down and seeing some things that just don't belong there. A lot of things, really, depending on what mood I'm in on any particular day.

 

I am having pretty much the same struggle. They say each person experiences dysphoria differently and here is everything that I've "learned" (If there is anything wrong y'all can correct me in the comments because I've been trying to help people in their threads but I don't always get it right.)

There are 3 types of dysphoria and each type presents differently: Body, Social and Mind.

Body Dysphoria

This is when you feel uncomfortable with one or many parts of your body.

There is "physiological dysphoria" where people feel literally feel like their genitals or other parts of the body are not supposed to be like that and feel the urge to correct it.

There is dysphoria where it may or may not be that extreme, but they may dislike it and prefer to have the other genitals.

And then there is also just the "body euphoria" where people are fine with their bodies, but would be even happier as the other gender.

Social Dysphoria

It happens when you are perceived as the gender you don't identify as, people treat you as such, use the wrong pronouns and it makes you feel bad.

Mind dysphoria

This one is the one where I have found less information, and at the same time it is the one I am suffering the most?

Mind dysphoria: Discomfort someone feels when their thoughts are at odds with their sense of identity. I feel really uncomfortable when I say things that sound too girly, and when I do feminine things with my hands and my poses.

So I identify as a male, but I don't feel man enough and it is causing conflict in my head.

Bonus: Mild dysphoria

This is also something I'm going through, it involves feeling a bit off, or that something is wrong or bothering you, etc.

As you can see, there are many types of dysphoria and it can come in different levels. Having some of these doesn't necessarily mean you are transgender. Also I typed all of this so I wasn't really careful with words. You can do research to find more exact concepts and definitions but the idea is there. Hope I helped!

 

As BorussenGuy said, that could be dysphoria. Much like being trans, dysphoria can come in different degrees of extremes and shades.

Pre-T, my dysphoria was to the extreme and made me severely anxious and suicidal.

Now that I'm in my transition, it fluctuates a lot. Some days I'm fine and I sometimes forget I'm trans and don't even notice the things that trigger my dysphoria. Then I have days where the parts I don't like about myself are an ugly tumor that makes my skin crawl, and then I have days where I don't identify with my body at all and it's weird. It's not that I don't recognize the person in the mirror, but it's just a complete disconnect.

These days my social dysphoria can be worse than my body dysphoria; mostly because I'm still in my hometown and most of my old classmates work at the places I frequent, and I don't know who has a clue about me being out. That's usually the more anxiety inducing. The worst thing my body dysphoria does is bring on feelings of depression if I don't see changes or I think about the financial problems that come with things.

Dysphoria can be mild, extreme, or somewhere in the middle. It could be specifically for the body, socially, or both. One could be more mild or intense than the other, or they could be the same. They can fluctuate or be steady. It's different for everyone.

 

A disconnect/discomfort with how you're viewed in society/your body.

 

Dysphoria can come in many different forms and kinds and various levels of extremes in regards to how intense or present it may be for someone, there are several kinds of it, there's Body Dysphoria, which is related to the discomfort one may feel about about their body parts or their body, then of course there is Social Dysphoria, related to how one feels about their perceived gender and how people perceive and treat them, and then Mental Dysphoria, relating to one's own perception.

Everyone's is different through, and you may feel or not feel any or all of this.

 

for me it just feels incredibly uncomfortable, like certain things just don't belong, like before I cut my hair I would pull on it all the time and anytime I saw scissors I would just want to cut it myself..also boobs kinda suck when I'm feeling more agender (I'm genderfluid between demigirl and agender) and i felt like I just needed to get a binder no matter what

 

Like you're in a really tight costume and you just want to tear it off of you but you can't, because you realize that this is your actual reality. Then you get panicky and look for a way out. Suicide circles around in your mind as your despair deepens. Then you forget for a while... and then you return to the same place.

That's how I feel at least. It used to be worse before I started the three medicines I'm on to keep me functionable and safe from myself.

In general, I'd say it's a creeping, very uncomfortable feeling.

 

I mostly only experience what is known as social dysphoria. When people refer to me as a "man" or a "dude" and stuff like that I get really uncomfortable and sorta spacey. I feel bad for the person that just wants to be nice and say something like, "How are you sir?" But I just get uncomfortable and back away from them. I used to have a really big problem with pronouns, but now I don't really care. Just know that your feelings are valid and that what you're describing sounds a bit like gender dysphoria.

 

Dysphoria literally means something similar to "unhappiness", and its opposite, euphoria, means "happiness". It's a very personal thing. Like, imagine someone describing waiting in line for a roller coaster. You and they are both very nervous, but they love roller coasters and love feeling nervous. So you'll hear their description and think "wow, this person isn't nervous at all". The exact same feelings can affect us all in very different ways, and that's all we're doing, describing our feelings. So don't sweat it too much if what we're saying doesn't sound close to you.

For me, I remember it being the worst when I was in the military, and almost as bad when I was in a relationship. There were a lot of feelings mixed in with it. There was a lot of unnecessary shame, a lot of me trying to be something I not, a lot of fear that people would know who I was and what I did. I don't think that stuff is dysphoria at all, but I was feeling it, and it did color things. So just teasing everything else I was feeling out of that, living as a guy felt... well first of course, physically there was the way my clothes fit against my skin. I used to wear very loose, baggy clothes. The feeling whenever something bumped something that wasn't supposed to be there or didn't fit right, or reminded me how large some features were and small others were, it was just a little disorienting. I was also terrified of course those days when I wore much tighter clothes that felt right underneath everything, and tucked, that people would know, but again I'm trying to ignore that fear for a moment. I think though it was... I had situational depression quite a bit as a kid, I was on antidepressants during some of my childhood, that helps me make sense of it a little, it was very similar to depression, when I had dysphoria. Except with a lot of stress and anxiety mixed in with it. I mean even when no one was around and I had no reason to be afraid socially, I still knew that there was something wrong, that I needed to be a woman somehow. A little bit of despair at times. And when I could be me for an evening, I felt more, just, alive. Less shut off from the world. I'm much more talkative when I'm me, much more just, there. I mean if I wanted to be poetic about it, it's like I have a soul again now. I think the thing I hated the most though was just the rage I used to feel, that was worse than anything. All my emotions, the real ones, they're way close to the surface now. Of course, too, some of that is the HRT, so I mean, it's hard to tease the gender euphoria from the natural effects of my hormones too.

I mean overall I hope at least some of that helps, I tried to be detailed, but I hope the roller coaster bit at the beginning helps. A lot of that stuff was a long time ago for me. And it's hard to separate these feelings out, to say "oh this part is dysphoria". I mean it's like, what does being in love feel like, you know? It's a difficult question. But I think I'm about as satisfied with my answer as I can be.

 

Other people have put it really really well.

Yeah, the disconnect thing is a big part. Like, you're caged, almost. You feel trapped in your own body, you can't escape and it can be so incredibly frustrating. It's your body but it doesn't feel like your body. You look in the mirror and it feels so wrong. The picture of yourself in your mind and the one in the mirror don't align at all, it's like you're wearing someone else's skin and as much as you wish you could, you can't rip it off. There's social dysphoria. They call you the pronouns associated with your birth sex, and your skin crawls. It just feels so wrong. You're forced into social situations that don't match your gender, hell, even using the bathroom can cause you anxiety. You know you're supposed to be born the opposite sex, but things don't match and it kills you on the inside. Sometimes there is anxiety and depression, panic attacks. It tends to cycle. Maybe a few days you'll be feeling fine, maybe even positive, then you'll get anxious and deeply depressed for even longer. Maybe you think about suicide. And you wish, so badly, you would be seen and had the same physical attributes of the opposite sex.

Just my experiences with dysphoria, unfortunately everyone has it differently, but I think some of these are common to some trans people.