Hi! So, I have posted a thread or two here before asking for advice on if I could possibly be FtM trans. Well, I need some help again, unfortunately. Lately, it has been hard for me to accept myself for who I know I am. I just keep telling myself that I'm just butch. I keep telling myself that I'm certainly not trans. I keep denying it in my mind, and I think it's because of something that I brought up in a previous thread, and that is the fact that out of thin air I just started questioning my gender and sexuality. I think I have always been non-cis and non-hetero, but it was always something that was just in the back of my mind collecting dust. Then some things took place, I began to experience chronic depression and anxiety and bipolar moods. I was in a dark place when all of a sudden the thought snuck up on me and was kind of like: "Umm, hey bro. Sorry to break this to you, but you like girls." Then after denying that for a long while and my mental state getting worse, another thought popped up and was like: "Hey! Guess what? You want to be a guy? Don't you? You want a guy body? Right? You hate having boobs, I can tell. You hate being a girl." After that thought, I started to question things more seriously instead of pushing it all aside. And now, here I am identifying as trans and mostly biromantic. Can things really happen like that? Every story I hear, people say they have known their gender identity and sexuality were different since a young age; and, here I am figuring things out over the course of almost a year and a half. I don't feel valid enough to accept myself, and I am finding that to be a huge road bump when it comes to coming out to my mom. Has anyone else had this experience? Or does anyone at least have some advice on how to overcome this feeling?
I never even thought about questioning my gender until a few months ago, when I learned about different gender identities, so you can suddenly question your gender later in life. Some people don't even start to realize their true identity until much later in life, like around mid thirties, so not realizing it from a young age is perfectly fine. I'm not really sure if I could help you overcome this feeling since I'm still sort of feeling this way, too, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone (*hug*)
Many people don't figure out their gender until later in their life. It might not be something that just clicks all of a sudden, your journey to self discovery could be gradual. Cis people don't spend their time thinking on whether not they're trans. Having doubts about yourself isn't a rare thing. I've doubted what I was doing at some major points in my transition. I found it definitely worth it to push through. (Oh hey off topic but we have the same signature, well almost the same. message me if you want to talk!!!!)
