So, firstly- I was born female. I have female genitals, and have lived as a girl for the first 14 years of my life. But lately I've been questioning. I love being a girl, on occasion, and dressing all 'girly'. I'm not fussed about pronouns or what name people call me- some people call me Kaitlyn (birth name), some call me Jamie (just a name I like) and some use nicknames. I enitially thought I was gender fluid. But then, I don't feel like a girl or boy! I mostly just feel like nothing, just Kaitlyn, just me. Maybe I'm agender? Any help would be greatly appreciated (*hug*)
Some of the earlier parts of your description struck me as demigirl. Though, agender is also a possibility. I know for me it took quite a bit of just...sitting and thinking to myself to conclude that I'm agender. Maybe that's all you need. You seem to have a pretty good grasp on what you're going for. Best of luck!
Do you have any gender dysphoria? It's hard to say from your description what gender you are. The pronouns stuff could be an indication of being agender, but it could also just say that you don't really feel a need to be traditionally girly, which is fine.
I know the feels. I'm still questioning and it's been while. I was assigned female at birth and still present as feminine but there were long stretches in my life where I was a "tomboy" or "butch". When I realized that I hated being called a girl, I was still attached to how I was socialized (as a girl). At first, I felt that demigirl was a good fit until it wasn't. I now feel empowered by masculine pronouns but am not fussy about them. I wear a binder some days to complete my make-up. Some days I say I'm shrug-gender or boygirl simply because it feels like less pressure to fit into a label. I think I am fine with being unsure about labels as long as I have a good handle on what I am not okay with (being referred to as a woman, lady, girl, etc.) /speculations
