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So pronouns...

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AgenderMoose, Nov 26, 2015.

  1. AgenderMoose

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I've expressed my preferred pronouns to some of my friends and very little of them use them. One has flat out refused because she has been so used to saying "she" that she will continue that (I was disappointed but I told her that was fine), and more of my friends have complained that "they" is only plural, yet I've heard them use gender neutral pronouns when referring to one person to keep them anonymous.

    This also happens with my d&d character, who is agender and biologically male. Some people in my group use "she" for their pronouns (one of these people said it was because I am a girl, to which I replied "no I'm not"), which I thoroughly do not accept. "He" I let them off the hook with, but not "she".

    My main problem is that while I have mentioned my pronouns, some people do not use them. It makes me uncomfortable to be called "she" by those that I've come out to, but I'm slightly scared to enforce it because I don't want to come off as rude. However I'm nearing my wits end. Should I start enforcing it regularly although I'm scared they'll get annoyed with me?
     
  2. DinelodiiGitli

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    I'd point it out regularly until they get it.
    If they know that 'they' is your preferred pronoun then they should being using it and if they slip up they should apologize.

    If they continue to use incorrect ones despite your explanations then ask them how they'd feel if you used the wrong pronouns for them.
    You're not being rude, they are.
     
  3. InfinityonHigh

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    It's not rude to ask for respect. They're the rude ones. People use they/them as singular pronouns all the time. And who cares about grammar anyway? Most people speak in fragments, and those aren't grammatically correct. I realized this fact when I started writing dialogue in my stories.
    This might sound harsh, but if they get annoyed by having to respect your pronouns, they aren't good friends.
    Although, the thing I'd keep in mind is your physical safety. That's something to keep in mind whenever you talk about things like gender identity to people.
     
  4. AgenderMoose

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Thanks, guys. Your advice means so much. I'm going to try and reinforce my pronouns more around my friends :slight_smile:
     
  5. InfinityonHigh

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    Glad to help. :slight_smile:
     
  6. ResidentTheatreKid

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Brighton, UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm just starting to enforce my pronouns, and my friend has started to call me 'it' because it's gender neutral. They know what my name is but I'm not enforcing that yet, but the use of 'it' pronouns are really annoying. Everyone else just misgenders me, and I think it's too late now to start correcting them, I'm leaving school in 6 months.
     
  7. EntirelyNuetral

    Regular Member

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    Honestly, as someone who has they/them pronouns, this frustrates me to no end. But, to anyone to says your pronouns are 'grammatically incorrect', ask them what pronouns they would use for someone whose gender they don't know/aren't sure of. That's right, they/them!