1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I cheating?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Meme Machine, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. Meme Machine

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my anti-social bubble.
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Four days ago I made a thread explaining that I was crushing on my best friend. The thread was rushed and none of my sentences were any clear, so today I am making a better thread so I can actually get the help I need. I am not sure how to start this off though so I'm just going to try making the best of it.
    I apoligize in advance for such a long thread.
    Hi, I'm a 14 year old male who is completely and utterely confused about everything. Since I was 12 I have been sensing something was a bit off and out of the ordinary when I felt an attraction toone of my male friends, and it is just becoming clearer for me as I am getting older than I am not just straight or male for that matter. If I would have to put a label for my sexuality and gender it would currently be pansexual and a transgender who hasn't started transitioning one single bit.
    I don't think I have super big problems with what I identifying as but I think I might be in denial. Whenever I think to myself "Am I allowed to be attracted to anyone and to be myself?" my brain just says "Nah that's cheating". This is making me confused and I can't tell whetever I want to be friends with someone or if I have a crush on them, It's making me stressed due to how much of an emotional rollercoaster it is.
    That's one problem I need help and advice about but the second one is just as tricky. I have for about a year felt that I enjoy thr company of girls rather than guys, guys are loud arrogant and annoying as teenagers and I just am not enjoying living that way. But with girls I can talk about my feelings, how I look and just be myself... I feel relaxed. This has grown to self-hate due to me being male biologicaly, and it makes me feel transitioning is pointless because I have still been a male so if I am a transgender and pansexual it feels like I'm a lying scum who doesn't care about other people, just about to say for an example shower with other girls just to see their body, even if that isn't the actual reason. This make me feel very bad so sometimes I starve myself as a punishment, which honestly doesn't help but I don't know how to stop doing so.
    If anyone could just leave your thoughts down below It would be highly appreciated, like for real, anything would boost my self-confidence at this point. :help:
     
  2. FootballFan101

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Europe
    No its not cheating to be both pansexual and to be yourself. Dont worry about that
    Secondly are you able to relate to girls easier? That could be sign of being trans although it dosent mean you necessarily are trans. Maybe if you take a few months to think. Another thing DONT starve yourself its unhealthy. I am sure you are a very nice person IRL as you sure sound like it (*hug*)
     
  3. rave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2015
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mount Pleasant, MI
    Out Status:
    Some people
    YOU ARE NOT CHEATING.
    You are who you are, regardless of who you are attracted to. Gender identity & orientation are two entirely different things; they don't even have to be related.
    Try to be kind to yourself even without having all the answers. Hell, I turn twenty-five tomorrow & I sure don't have all the answers!
    Take a deep breath & remember that this is a journey, & that you are not alone in it.
    <3