I feel so stuck. How do I move past these doubts?

I'm not going to address the reasons you think you might be ftm individually, but I will say that I agree that every single thing in that list points towards you being ftm, or at least some sort of non-cis identity.

Regarding your doubts:
I only started questioning fairly recently, in my 20s.
People find out they're trans at all sorts of ages. Some people know when they're 4. Some people figure it out when they're 30. A woman at my church didn't realize she was trans until she was about 70, but she's still definitely trans. It's never too late to figure it out.

I don't know if I can see myself ever actually coming out to my family and friends and transitioning
Transitioning and coming out is frightening. Not being able to imagine doing it doesn't mean you're not trans. Honestly, even if you end up deciding that coming out and transitioning isn't worth it, that doesn't mean you're not trans. It just means your dysphoria wasn't quite bad enough to warrant the difficulties that come with all of the steps of transitioning and whatnot.

Saying "I'm a man" also doesn't feel quite right, although it's not really uncomfortable like saying "I'm a woman". I have more of an apathetic feeling toward man and other male terms, including male pronouns. But I suppose it could be that I'm just not used to them, since no one calls me by them.
I felt a bit odd with male-coded language at first too because I wasn't used to it. Keep in mind that you can be ftm or nonbinary and still prefer neutral language. If you'd rather use neutral pronouns and just be referred to as a person, and not a man or a woman, you can do that regardless of your gender.

I don't really hate my name, although it doesn't really feel like it is "my name" either. I guess again it's more of an apathetic feeling, like I'm used to being called it.
Dysphoria doesn't mean you have to hate your name and pronouns and body. The disconnect from your name (feeling like it's not quite your name) is a pretty common feeling. I feel fairly uncomfortable when people call me by my birth name, but I'm really used to is, so it doesn't bother me that much. Jesse feels a lot more me though.

When I was younger, in my teens, I did try to dress more feminine/sexy and as a teenager wanted my breasts to be bigger (although I have the opposite feeling now).
Same. I conformed to what was expected of me. I liked feeling like a conventionally attractive woman, and part of that was dressing femininely and wishing my chest was bigger. I didn't recognize that much of the discomfort with my body that I assumed was normal insecurities was probably actually dysphoria.

I don't 100% hate my breasts, although I do prefer how I look flat-chested, with a binder on.
Again, dysphoria doesn't have to be hate. Feeling like your chest is supposed to be flat and feeling more comfortable when binding counts.

In my past there have been a couple of traumatic experiences, in which a female (myself or someone else) was a victim in some way. So one thing that worries me is what if I made this all up to myself, to escape from being in that victim role, somehow?
People who are trying to escape being female for reasons like that (wanting to escape gender roles, wanting to escape being in a victim role, etc.) are still unlikely to manifest as physical dysphoria. You have described dysphoria that does not directly relate to being female in a social sense. If you are still concerned, it could be worth discussing with a therapist. They will be able to help you analyze your feelings and determine whether your dysphoria exists independently of your traumatic experiences.

Also I think I often have a tendency to obsess or over-think things, so what if all of this questioning is just me over-thinking things? (I have also considered, on the flip-side, that all the doubts could very well be me over-thinking, rather than the other way around)
Overthinking doesn't cause physical dysphoria. It's much more likely that the doubts are you overthinking.

 

i just read your text and it is absolutely INCREDIBLE how much I can relate!
I think it's very common thing for trans people to have these kind of doubts and for me it sounds very much like your trans (though I feel the same way and also don't know if I'm trans..)
Especially the last part sounds a lot like me, where you said you are afraid you might just overthink this because you easily obsess. I feel EXACTLY the same way, also about being afraid I might change my mind after coming out and having to tell everyone I was wrong.. It's not like coming out is awkward enough already, right?
I am sorry I can't help you, as I am stuck myself. I think writing a list about why you think you are trans and why you think you aren't is a good step.
When I did this I had about 2 1/2 pages of why I am trans and like less than 1/2 a page of why I'm not. How much proof do I need? Well, apparently more, since I'm still not quite there yet. I also think that saying "I am a boy" sounds weird to me, but I do actually want to be a boy...

Well, anyways. I wish you the best of luck to find whatever you are searching for to make a decision

 

Wow, we are very similar in both our experiences and our doubts.
I'm also apart of a role playing forum and use to play male and female characters. At first I refused the male roles feeling that since I was "female" I would play the female roles better. I constantly realized my female characters were rather..flat? They were either girly girls or so tomboyish they could of been a boy with boobs. I had to force myself into their roles. My first male role (i wanted to be in that role play very much so I agreed to the male role) was actually very fun. I amazed at how easily he came to me. Tentatively I started taking more roles and a few years later I realized that For every female role I had I had five other male roles. I also admit that I have identified as asexual for a long time, but when I pictured myself as one of my male characters in a relationship that never seem to be the case.
I've also felt like I have just been been acting a part for the majority of my life. I can remember being as young as 14 and thinking "Next time I will be a boy." Also since questioning and accepting being trans I have felt like my whole life has opened up again. Before I was content to be in a rut and going no where. I didn't want to interact with people and hanging with family caused anxiety to spring up and i would end up canceling sometimes, especially if I knew we had to go out in public. I never understood why that happen though. I also feel the same about selfies. When I first started taking make up I might of snapped a few off because I loved how eyeliner makes my eyes look, but anything below the head made me want to cry.
I'm running low on time so I better get on to the doubts.

Regarding your doubts: (borrowed someone's layout for this)
I only started questioning fairly recently, in my 20s.
While I can look back and see points in my life where I had doubts and question I had always pushed them away and told myself all girls felt that way. I was 22 when I first started questioning hardcore, and 23 when I finally accepted that I was trans.

I don't know if I can see myself ever actually coming out to my family and friends and transitioning
I have this problem as well. I manage to to tell my mom through a facebook message, and my aunt guessed, my friend was supportive and my other friends turn out to be trans ( i didn't know till I came out to them), but the rest of my family I have a hard time picturing coming out to. It's normal to feel this way, I assure you. Coming out is scary because the results are unknown, but eventually you will reach the point where you will. If you want to make it go a bit more smoothly you can drops hints every once in a while.

Saying "I'm a man" also doesn't feel quite right, although it's not really uncomfortable like saying "I'm a woman". I have more of an apathetic feeling toward man and other male terms, including male pronouns. But I suppose it could be that I'm just not used to them, since no one calls me by them.
This is me as well. I don't actually mind female pronouns, they are familiar I guess you can see, but I never minded male coded terms either. Man, guy, dude, bro. Male pronouns feel awkward for me and I know it is because they have never been used as a way to talk to/about me. My mom tried for a day then abruptly stopped, and when she did use them she did it with a laughing tone like it was a secret joke.
A lot of trans guys probably feel unsure about male pronouns till they get use to them. As a baby we had time to get use to female terms and associate them with ourselves. By time we were able to form and remember long term memories we were already use to being called fem terms.

I don't really hate my name, although it doesn't really feel like it is "my name" either. I guess again it's more of an apathetic feeling, like I'm used to being called it.
You don't have to hate your name to be trans. There are a lot of trans people who keep their birth names, or find ways to spell it gender neutral ways.

When I was younger, in my teens, I did try to dress more feminine/sexy and as a teenager wanted my breasts to be bigger (although I have the opposite feeling now).
I never wanted bigger breast but then by time I was 10 I was in a medium A cup already soo lots of unwanted picking going on from guy friends. I tried to dress more feminine when I was a teen as well. I was in denial that I could be trans because I didn't exactly feel like a guy, I just hated my female body was all. I tried to act more feminine and I would get excited when I could pull it off, and I tried to dress in what I considered more girly clothes. I also finally started wearing makeup when I was 18 though it was only foundation to cover pimple scars, and eyeliner because I liked the rock star look xD. Looking back on it I actually just looked like a tomboy, and only my brother ever saw me acting girly when I got excited over a kdrama or jdrama. At the end of day I was always left feeling like it wasn't me. I knew that at my core there was something very masculine and very male that would always shine through. I just acted female because I wanted others to accept me, wanted my family to accept me.

I don't 100% hate my breasts, although I do prefer how I look flat-chested, with a binder on.
Don't hate mine 100% either. I always imagine myself flat chested, but the sight of them there won't throw me into a spiral of self hatred. I'm just apathetic to them. The only time I care for the public to see them is when going to the bathroom, because still have not worked up the courage for male restrooms but bladder condition means I gotta go when I gotta go.

In my past there have been a couple of traumatic experiences, in which a female (myself or someone else) was a victim in some way. So one thing that worries me is what if I made this all up to myself, to escape from being in that victim role, somehow?
I had this worry as well. I spent the years between 6 and 13 in a very bad environment, I worried that because of this I was making this up. After all I wasn't one of the kids who wished to be a boy growing up, who insisted that they were a boy. Then I remember little instances of how I've always sort of been 'boy'.
As young as 3 I would look down at my body and be struck with the feeling that it was male, the moments only lasted a few minutes and then I would simply shrug and go back to what I was doing. When I was 5 I remember getting upset that I was forced to play with the girls at daycare. I had always played with the boys and hated being lumped with the girls. A teacher told me I was just a tomboy, which I told my dad who then gave me lecture about how his daughter would not be a tomboy which equals a lesbian to him. Growing up my dad made me go through "girl training" because I often acted to much like my brothers. I had to learn to swish my hips while walking, back straight and boobs out. I was crying at the end of most of it. Of course that could also be me trying to escape gender roles. But then there is the physical dysphoria. It is mild but it is there, and I can't make that up. If I base my decision on anything it is the fact that I want and need to be physically male, and I never really thought about what I would gain socially from it. (gaining male privilege actually scares me xD)

Also I think I often have a tendency to obsess or over-think things, so what if all of this questioning is just me over-thinking things? (I have also considered, on the flip-side, that all the doubts could very well be me over-thinking, rather than the other way around)
Same. I have a lot of time on my hands and thus I tend to overthink and obsess over something that is bothering me. As someone else said, physical dysphoria doesn't really manifest due to overthinking. I do think it is the doubts you are over thinking. Doubts are normal and kind of good to have, it means you are thinking this over seriously, but overthinking them can also put a wrench in your happiness. Instead of thinking about the doubts, sometimes take a break and think about all that things you look forward to if you decided to transition.

I was kinda afraid about coming out and being wrong as well. The more I accept myself as trans the more I know I'm not wrong, but that little nagging fear is there to remind me how embarrassed I would be to have to admit that I was wrong. Judging from the amount of self love I feel since accepting myself as trans I doubt that I am wrong.

Any chance that the role playing forum site is Gaia Online?

 

Look, I know it's frustrating, it also happened to me, it happens to all of us.(trans) I can actually relate with you a lot. But you don't sound really like a woman, and neither like a man. Maybe you are just... Nonbinary!! have you ever thought of being not female nor male, not fitting, feeling disconnected with your body nor ur name... (I assume your name is too feminine) wanting your boobs to be bigger, but now you don't. You would like to not have breasts anymore... That sounds like genderqueer to me, in fact, that sounds to me!