Hi! Just so yall know, I'm an afab genderqueer person but I'd love to try to start binding. There's a few problems that I hope some of you could answer. First of all I don't know where to buy them, since there's no physical stores in the Netherlands. I will have to buy them online. Any tips? Besides I've never even seen a real binder? How does binding even work? Is there anything I should keep in mind while binding? ( know I shouldn't wear them too long but what is too long?? And the biggest problem is how do I tell my parents? They *know* I'm genderqueer and they say they want to support me no matter what but they keep ignoring it. They probably don't understand it all. So how do I get them to let me wear binders? So many questions, I know. Please share all information and experiences you have! (*hug*)
My recommendations for online stores are lesloveboat, gc2b and underworks! (I've tried the last two, and gc2b is my personal favourite. The tank top binders are the comfiest I've ever worn.) If you want a look at different kinds of binders, check out their online shops. As for the 'how it works' aspect - it depends on your binding method! Most binders you pull on over your head (or sometimes step into and pull up). Some are wrap-around, and some zip up at the front. It depends on the style of binder. It's recommended that you don't wear a binder for more than 8 hours. (I will admit I sometimes flaunt the rule, but only in my very loosest binders and never for toooo much longer.) And of course, don't keep wearing it if it starts to hurt at all. You don't necessarily have to tell anyone if you don't want to. I first got my binders jointly because gender reasons and for costumes, which was an easy way to get it past the radar. If you're out to a friend who can make the purchase for you, that is also something you can do! And once you have one, there's always the option of hand-washing it so you don't have to put it through the family wash. (Which is what I do with my packing shorts - I don't need anyone asking why I have boxers that are Made Weird.) If you want to come out, though, there's a lot of ways you can go about it. Writing, face-to-face...it really depends what's most comfortable for you. (My wall is always open if you'd like to talk about things, by the way!)
Thank you so much! A friend of mine told me about underworks as well so I'll probably order my binders there! (if I ever buy them that is) I'm glad you're telling me this. I could've searched the internet but I'm not sure about the reliability of some of the sites. I know I don't have to tell anyone about buying a binder, but since I'm still living with my parents I don't want to keep it a secret. I do have a good relation with my parents, we just don't talk a lot about the important stuff (like my gender and orientation). I'm looking for a way to make them clear how serious this is to me. But I haven't found that way yet.. Anyway, thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts/experiences
No problem at all! Yeah, Underworks are pretty decent, and I hear they've released some more comfortable binders since my days of Underworks binding, haha. (Protip: Avoid the Double Front binder like the plague. It's a nightmare, imo.) Good luck with coming out to your parents! Hopefully if you've got a good relationship with them, it'll go okay. I wish you all the best with it!
I recommend exactly the same brands Oddsocks recommended. Those three brands are known for having good quality and safe binders. There are multiple styles of binders but regardless of the style, it's essentially just wearing something tight around your chest to flatten the tissue there. Mine is velcro on the sides (from lesloveboat) so I can adjust the tightness, but the standard style just pulls over your head and either covers your whole stomach (like a tight tank top) or ends around the bottom of your ribcage. 8 hours is a good limit for how long to wear it. Some people can easily wear it for 10. Even if it isn't uncomfortable, I wouldn't recommend wearing it much longer than that, but ultimately you know your body, so do what feels physically comfortable for you. When you first get it, it's best to not go straight to wearing it for a full 8 hours. Wear it for maybe 4 hours the first time you wear it, and then work your way up from there so your body has time to get used to it. Never ever exercise in a binder. And regardless of whether or not you've hit the binding time limit for the day, if it starts hurting, it's better to take it off. Explaining it to your parents will probably be easier since they know you're genderqueer. If you just want to explain clearly and quickly why you want to wear a binder, tell them that it makes you feel more comfortable in your body, and that you feel more you with a flat chest. If you want to have a more in depth conversation, I can't help too much because that's more a matter of figuring out how to explain your personal experiences and desires.
I have a few friends and acquaintances that are trans or do drag and all really like underworks. A fellow king really likes gc2b, so id go with those. I am actually getting an underworks binder for Christmas!
I'm in the same!! Just that my parents don't know I'm genderqueer Explain your parents how it feels tu have gender dysphoria, the difference between gender=/=sex And try to show them that you'll be much happier binding. And that it is a lot safer
I've also wanted to try binding my chest more. I only ever used those bandage wraps and clips to do it, and for the most part it's been quite uncomfortable. I never tried going online for one, because I don't have any means to pay for things online I'd have to ask my mom for help and I'm not so sure she would get one for me if they're going to be super expensive. I also know that you need to say your size and I don't know what my size it. I know I'm not huge, but no means small either. I've been receiving handmydown bras my whole life since I am so not comfortable shopping for undies in stores at all, so I never really could pin point what my size is exactly. So I might be S.O.L on that one. But I'd want to try anyways. Not being helpful here am I T_T Sorry.
Never use bandages!! Also, in binder stores they have a chart with the binder size and your perimeter in feets and meters!!
GC2b FTM and transgender male Chest Binders I think someone mentioned it but this site is the best =) they also help you with figuring out how to measure to get the perfect size
Thanyou for your advice, I just don't think that there are any stores like this in my town to be honest.
F2M Binders Tops: full tops, half tops - F2M Binders This website is an underworks website. On the bar at the side you can choose search filters like compression factor, colour, and materials. The sizing charts are pretty straight forward but require a tape measure. They have a few different styles. I recently bought my boyfriend the "cotton lined power chest binder tank" because it ranked at a higher compression factor than the other full tank one I was looking at. Also because it provided some compression lower than the chest too.
I bought all mine from t-kingdom, but that was a few years ago cos I don't need to bind anymore. Recently I've heard underworks binders are being sold on the UK amazon store, which is closer to the netherlands than most of the sites.
Thanks a lot! I'm still not sure how to tell my parents but I do know more about binding. I'm not sure whether I would feel happier since I do not hate my body. Sometimes I have those days where I feel more masculine, and I start binding with stuff that's in my house, but it's not safe so I don't do it often or for a long time.
Hah me too!! It's weird to try to explain genderqueerness to cis (straight) people! That can be related with being genderfluid. But maybe it is that you feel less feminine. That feel that your body has traits that not fit your gender is called gender dysphoria, and it happens to me sometimes, and I hate my breasts then. The truth is that when I can't hold it anymore I lock myself in the bathroom and just layer all my sport bras backwards. Then I take some off, (because I can barely breathe haha) and use my most baggy sweater.
