Since the earliests memories I have, I've always questioned my gender. I remember having androphobia when a kid, and this extended until my puberty. Nowadays, I look myself in the mirror and see a beautiful man, but it doesn't feel "enough". When I put myself 'woman' clothings, I see a beautiful woman. But that also doesn't feel enough. In my native language, which is Portuguese, we only have neutral and feminine suffixes. So, when people call me in neutral gendered words, I feel very good. But also when called in feminine forms, I also feel good. I haven't come to a conclusion yet, but I feel like I am a non-binary gender. And I want help, because I am not sure.
It sounds like your gender may be non-binary. If dressing as a man or a woman doesn't feel like enough, you could see how you feel combining the two. You could mix and match male and female clothing, or try to look as ambiguous as possible. Keep trying new things until you figure out what suits you best.
