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MTF and Street Harassment

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by driedroses, Dec 18, 2015.

  1. driedroses

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    So, my kid is almost 19, MTF. Still in the transitioning phase, no hormones yet. Was walking today to grandmother's house and apparently some guy pulled over, honked, and then drove away. This scares me because I know MTF is a high risk for violence. Anyone have recommendations on how to help my kid (and myself) feel more secure in public? Street harassment is bad enough for me, and I'm 41.
     
  2. Hexagon

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    Basically, no. The only thing that will really help her is hormones, as they'll help your daughter to pass better, though as you yourself say, street harassment happens to all women to some extent, not just trans women.

    I think the most important thing you can do is be supportive. Such incidents are likely to make her feel particularly dysphoric, and it's helpful to be there for her when she's feeling that way. You may feel an instinct to protect her by trying to convince her not to transition, but trust me, it won't work. All that will happen is that she won't tell you about what happens, and will be at even more risk that way.
     
  3. driedroses

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    Oh, absolutely not - I would never discourage the transition. That wasn't even on my radar as a thought process, but more of how do we handle this situation? I don't know if pepper spray is legal in my state, but I think I'm going to look into it. And we're working toward getting hormones, etc. I just - I'm scared. And I know at 18, driving is an option, but we're also dealing with seizures, etc, so driving isn't actually an option.
     
  4. Hexagon

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    I'm glad you're so supportive :slight_smile:. There's very little you can do to actually prevent the harassment, sadly, and I know how scared you are. I've experienced harassment, but never told my mother, as she was already pretty scared for me - unfortunately this informed her attitude towards my transition, and is part of why we aren't close.

    As for dealing with harassment, that's a different matter. If pepper spray isn't legal, it's possible to make; just google it. There are plenty of guides on how. She wouldn't want to be caught with it, though, but she may decide it's worth the risk. Self defence classes could be of use as well.
     
  5. Eveline

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    I'm glad that you are so supportive of your daughter. (*hug*)

    In general, she just needs to take the same precautions that young girls need to take, which is to try and walk outside in the company of others if possible, to avoid walking outside alone at night and to be aware of your surroundings.
     
  6. Michael

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    This.

    She needs to take the usual precautions we all take, but this world is just not 100% safe anyways for anyone. She could be at risk because she is a woman, or because she is trans, or because she happened to be at the wrong time and place.

    You are showing her you really love her by being supportive. I understand you are afraid, but try not to let it show, you know, try to give her confidence. There is a risk, but that doesn't mean it has to happen to your daughter.
     
  7. driedroses

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    All four of my kids are AMAB, so this is a first for me to deal with with any of them. You'd think, after dealing with it myself as a teenager and beyond, that I'd have some insight and better ideas, but it's so much different when it's your kid. I do, with all my kids, let them know I'm concerned about their safety, and help them work out safe paths, etc. You all are awesome, seriously. Thanks!