Just wanna vent

Terrific experience yesterday at the DMV.

So I am nearly 100% done with my name change. I waited literally a year for background investigations - the minimum time you'll wait for this in Colorado is 14 weeks, prepare for a year and a mess of things going wrong due to the I am done pulling punches ineptitude of your government and mine - and several more months before I could get my court hearing, and an entire month after that before my name was published in the newspaper 3 times, during which I took care of updating my social security card - that was at least painless.

Anyway. Here I am after all that. I payed the court $25 for a certified copy - remember the phrase "certified copy", quiz will follow - of my final decree of name change, which was good enough to get my new Social Security card.

So this is the last boss. My new driver's license. After everything else I've been through, this should be painless, right? I literally have my new social security card in my hand. I literally can not fill out most government forms as my old name, because of this new social security card.

I step up to the counter when my number is called.

"Hi, I recently changed my name, and I'd like to update my driver's license?"

"Alright, do you have your name change decree and social security card?"

"Yes, here you are" (along with my old license)

"Just a sec"

...

So, bear with me. The first part, would not have pissed me off. I over hear this, though

"Have you ever seen anything like this? Both the first and last name? I've never done one of these before"

"Yeah (mumbled)"

"So are we going to do it?"

"No it's a copy"

Okay. "It's a copy". This much, I mean, maybe she's incompetent. Of course it's a copy. It says "certified copy" on the bottom. But this particular copy was signed by the clerk of the court, and stamped with the court's seal. I payed $25 for this copy.

Anyway, this is where things go to hell.

I have a short conversation with the clerk, and I point out the words "certified copy" and all that other stuff I mentioned. She says "mmm hmm" like she understands, but then when I ask "so is that the case? you're telling me this is good enough for social security but not you, you understand this is a copy" suddenly it's "well this isn't me saying this, this is my supervisor, she has a magnifying glass she used to tell it was a copy"

Okay. More incompetence. I can handle incompetence.

"Can I speak with her?"

"Yes, just a minute <old name>"

"That's not my name."

She goes over to her. My old name, "he" a whole awful lot - I guess that's what I became when she saw my old license. She really implies that she doesn't want to do this for me, and really punctuates "he" every time it comes up, glances my direction each time.

She comes back.

"My supervisor will be with you in a moment. Step over there <old name again>"

So I lose my patience.

"Thanks a lot mister"

I figure it's only fair.

Well, my being assertive over the paperwork, and calling her "mister" - and her seemingly and thankfully offended by that - seemed to do the trick. Her supervisor cooperates with me. I'm hoping she actually called the clerk. The rest of my trip there I'm "Jessica", no more "he", and everyone is pleasant. The clerk I was talking to at first is nowhere to be seen.

I mean, I get it. You don't like trans people. Just wow. Carrying it into your job like that. I mean for crying out loud, just be professional for the short period of time you are on the clock, go home, and call me a co*****ing f****t to your friends and family at home. But seriously? You couldn't just do your job for a few minutes? You had to make some sort of idiotic point - that didn't do you any good anyway, I have my new driver's license - on the taxpayer's dime? Who the hell do you think you are, Kim Davis? Am I going to get you your 15 minutes of fame? Sorry to disappoint you and even sorrier at how much your pathetic little life must suck. Sir.

 

From the look on her face when I called her "mister", and the change in tone everyone around her including her supervisor took after that, I think the damage is already done. I don't want her to lose her job, I want her to do her job. And I think she's going to have pressure on her in the future to do her job from now on.

---------- Post added 18th Dec 2015 at 12:13 PM ----------

Thanks all for the support It wasn't really that bad an experience, it was frustrating, but I finally have that chapter of my life behind me and I'm mostly just happy because of that. I just wanted to get it out in writing so I wouldn't dwell on it.

One thing I learned though is that transition has made me a hell of a lot more assertive. I couldn't imagine myself doing anything, including explaining the paperwork error, 4 years ago.