How to deal with cards?

I may not be in the place to give the advice, but what I do when things like that happen to me is try to change my perspective. Like if somebody calls me something I'm not I do the following:

1. If it's badly intended: Just laugh it off because I know that's not who I am, so there must be something wrong with them If they actually believe that.

2. If it's goodly intended: I try to put myself in their shoes and have sympathy, saying something like "I know you meant well, if only you knew better I'm sure you would've put the correct noun/pronoun."

I'm sure they don't mean any harm, it's just that they haven't had enough opportunity to change the way they were taught. Do you get what I'm trying to say? Best of luck

 

The only advice I can really say is to figure out how to bite your tongue.

 

Christmas cards? Pieces of paper stained by ink, in which humans love to repeat the same words year after year. Meaningless as trash unless they bought them from some charity.

Just forgive them and let it go... Or if the wrong pronouns get on your nerves (and you think they'll listen), kindly point out that you are son-grandson, and ask them to try to think about it the next time. Don't get angry in front of them or shout at them, they just can't help it...

There are people who ask to send me cards, and I told them I'd rather have them donate the money to some charity. If they insist and I get a card, I'll just throw it away without even bothering to read : It's the same old words year after year, you know...

 

This thread reminded me I had a bunch of birthday/holiday cards stashed in my closet. So I got to work.

I wanted to see how much of each I got- how many gender-neutral ones I received, or female ones I received. Twelve female ones, eleven neutral.

After I discovered I was trans, I realized how gendered cards really are. Why are they, anyways? I think the funny ones are the best- the ones that my family absolutely refuses to give to one another in fear of being "offensive". The only funny card in that stash I had was "Just because you're another year older doesn't mean it's time to throw in the towel." (open the card) "No, I'd keep it on. Believe me, nobody wants to see you naked. Happy birthday."

I got that one for my ninth birthday, from a friend. I laughed re-reading that. And I'm sure I'm going to be slapped in the face with all of these girly Christmas cards next week. The best thing you can do is to simply accept the cards, put on a fake smile, and move on to the next thing. Cards aren't that important, really.

If your relatives don't know your gender identity, then you shouldn't feel angry. They've interpreted you as female their entire lives, and they still believe you are. Only if you come out to people should you expect them to find gender-neutral cards.