I hate admitting it, but I have a small problem with jealousy when it comes to cisgender males. Even being out in public and seeing another guy just talk, hearing his voice and wishing it was mine, stuff like that... I feel stupid for even getting somewhat worked up over something pointless like that, but it still happens and I wish it wouldn't. It's the pity party. Why couldn't I be born like that? Why don't they see me the way I see me? They go through life so unaware of what they have. My social dysphoria has only been getting worse. And on the physical end, I worry more and more about not being able to pass, my stupid voice, stuff like that. I'm afraid people will never see me for who I am. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with these shitty feelings? I hate the "woe is me" bullcrap, but I'm kind of feeling down right now. I know who I am, but the mismatch between mind and body is nearly unbearable.
I try and turn it around, kind of a motivation to practice voice, posture, which clothes are most flattering etc. Most of the time I feel like you and it really gets to me. But every now and then I'm just like.. "Enough, I'm better than this.". Then contour my face to gain extra confidence, dress in my most passing clothes and feel a bit better. Sadly it doesn't work everytime, but those sometimes are worth it.
Me too. I can get extremely jealous of cis girls. It's unfortunate... I try not to be. But it isn't really that easy. :/ Maybe you could do something that feels validating when you feel like that? For example, you could say "I'm just as much of a guy as they are" continuously in your head or so.
Jealousy is common, even if it's in small degree, and I'll admit that I feel jealous of cis-girls once in a while. I personally never really have a lot time to be jealous with all that's going on around me. And by once in a while, I mean a few times a day. Or whenever I see a pretty girl. Girls probably think I'm looking at them in a... dirty way, but I'm really just looking at what I wish I had and what I wish I looked like. Yet, I know that one day I'll be just as pretty as they are. I do experience feelings of jealousy, that's undeniable. But those feeling are quickly blocked out by feelings of confidence. <3
I definitely get this, Cody. Though I'll say I have a bit more than what could be considered a "small problem." I'm sometimes raving jealous of cis-guys, and it doesn't help to live with six brothers either. Because every day I walk around sad and mopey with dysphoria, I get to watch my brothers grow up. I get to see them wearing their boxers, shaving their face, talking with cracking-booming voices, having voracious appetites, and magically gaining muscles mass despite doing no exercise and playing video games all day. Meanwhile I try finding clothes that don't exacerbate my genetic gift of wide hips, tightly layering sports bras I've had since I was twelve, shaving the peach fuzz off my face in secret, pumping iron relentlessly with little progress, and furtively lowering my voice when I talk. Jealous? Yes. But it's actually not a bad thing. This just teaches me to push harder. They got muscles for 'free?' I have to earn every ounce of mine. They get body hair to flaunt? I have to endure the weird looks to have my furry legs. And so on. The harder I work for my male body, the greater my satisfaction will be when I get it. Seeing this daily reminder may sting, but it gives me something to set my teeth for. Because I know I'm going to get there. That, I tell myself when I see my brothers, is what I will get to experience one day. My boyhood and male adolescence may have been stolen from me, but my manhood won't. Be strong, brother. I'm confident that you will have an amazing transition. Look forward to what you admiringly see in other guys, not sideways.
