Since when you knew?

I began seriously questioning in June of this year, originally wishing I was simply non binary but by September I couldn't deny it any longer... I'm trans! :lol:

There actually weren't too many signs when I was younger. Well, I never really felt "secure" in my identity as female. I never wanted to take proper care of myself as a kid. Something always felt off. Also, my envy for cis guys. I always hung out with them when I was little; I wanted to be one of the guys as opposed to being the tomboy with the guys. Of course, I didn't put together the puzzle pieces until this year. The physical dysphoria was not fully registered in my mind until puberty hit full swing.

I never hated myself or anything, thank goodness. When I began questioning, it was more of a matter of honestly wanting to comprehend my own feelings as opposed to deny things any longer. I just searched for the truth, and I've found it. I'm glad I'm finally able to live as myself. It feels refreshing, and I am so much more confident in myself now.

Coming out was easy. I'd already came out to everyone as queer, and honestly, coming out has never scared me. I'm certain of who I am, and I'm not afraid to say it. So I'm out to my parents and some of my friends, more to come.

 

I started questioning around the beginning of June this year and I figured it out about a month ago or so (I'm terrible with dates so I probably got that wrong!) I remember telling my friends that I was in the middle of a tomboy and a girly girl, but that still didn't feel right to me. Whenever I heard a group of women or girls being talked about, I never really felt like that applied to me. As for being out, well... soon... soon...

 

Oh yeah, I totally get the Enby confusion thing. My parents harbor the same feelings towards non binary people. I don't "enby" you people at all. I hope eventually society gets to the point where we don't need to belittle everyone's identity.

 

I started questioning October of 2014. Looking back on my childhood I can see several signs that I wasn't cis, like a 4 year old me at daycare throwing a fit that the girls were trying to lump me with them. But I was always told that I HAD to be a girl and no one would like me if I didn't act a certain way. So I tried to conform and try to wear feminity. So my growing masculine personality and distaste for my body as a teen caused me great distress, I thought people would be able to tell that I felt pulled between male & female and that they would make fun of me.
Originally I thought I was non-binary. At first genderfluid, then a gender, then demi-boy, then back to gender fluid and a gender. It was only recently that I realized I was fixated on the male/masculine parts of these identity. Finally knew I was trans male when I got my hair buzzed off. Looking in the mirror I could no longer see a female, I could only see a male and that felt right. I liked that me better than any other.

I'm out to my mom, came out to her May 2015, and my best friend has known from the start. I plan to officially come out to the rest of my family on New Years. It makes me anxious and nervous because I am always plagued by the "but what if I'm wrong" voice that I think we all have.
As well my brother already thinks I am to feminine to ever be a guy so he'll have plenty of things to say tontey and convince me I am trying to be a special snowflake.
Sorry I talk to much xD hope I answered the questions

 

It was a pun... enby instead of envy.
Enjoy.

 

I believe it was a play on words
enby is spelled a lot like envy.
He is saying he doesn't envy you

 

I knew for certain in March of this year, but have questioned for really all my life.

I never fit the 'girl' mold. In fact, everything I did, liked, and was stereotypically said 'boy.' Only thing that didn't match was what was in my pants.

When puberty hit is the moment when suddenly my mind and body rejected one another. I remember the first time having to wear a bra - I was embarrassed and uncomfortable. The first period, I'd gone sobbing to my mother and nearly threw up. Later on I became borderline suicidal because of the changes my body was going through.

Then there were strange things (for a little girl) that I thought about and wanted. For instance, I was trying to figure out if there was any way I could get a hysterectomy with no medical reason to. I wanted to grow a beard too, and wished intensely that I had a flat chest and could be shirtless like guys. I shrugged it off at the time but secretly I'd always wished I had been born male instead of female.

I accidentally found the word 'transgender' when I was researching about asexuality. Upon reading about it, everything finally made sense. I knew. Seeing various transmen on Youtube greatly helped, educated, and encouraged me as well.

Age when I thought about being a guy first was fifteen.

 

Feeling like a boy is something that has been there, in varying intensity, all my life. Since I was about three I have been into stereotypically masculine stuff and expressed a desire to "be a boy". When my brother was born I started to see the differences in AFAB and AMAB bodies, which made it worse.

Between the ages of 8 and 11, these feelings died down. I'm not sure why. I was still quite masculine but just didn't think much about being a boy.

Then, when I was 12 I began to discover (using the internet) what being transgender really meant and had an awareness of non-binary genders and how people go about transitioning. I started realising that some of what I was reading fit me and my story.

Aged 13 I joined this site and that was when I could pin down that I was FtM. The main thing stopping me from seeing this was that I'm not good at adapting to change, and was petrified of any sort of surgery. But yeah, that was when I knew for sure.

 

But you ARE out, right?[/QUOTE]

If someone were to ask my gender, totally. And I always try to use gender neutral bathrooms in public and I always look for an alternative to female or male on applications. But I'm not out to most people I know.

 

I knew I wanted to be a girl by 4-5, knew I was probably trans at 7, and knew I was definitely trans and needed to live as female by 10-11. I then tried to come out to my family, which went disastrously. So disastrously I still don't know if I'll ever recover. Knowing I was female stayed in the back of my mind, but around 18 I started wondering if I was nonbinary, and I came out as not cis and bi (long story...) in late summer/early fall 2014.

I questioned and questioned, and I came to the conclusion I'm just female sometime in fall 2014. Coming out went better the second time, probably because I had 8-9 years to slowly change my parents' minds, and plus this time I knew I couldn't be thrown in an insane asylum, so I didn't hold back. I've been openly female and trans in school since March, and recently, I've had enough with getting misgendered, and have started correcting people.

 

I knew that I wasn't a girl or boy from a young age but I never had the word for it until September this year. I always wanted people to skip over 'she' in sentences (e.g. Sam went to the shop because needed some milk) and knew I wasn't meant to have period or breasts. My bear-bear didn't have a gender either, same as me, but when my Mum asked I assigned them male (but obviously this is teddy land where I'm Quing* so they're legally agender now).

*Non-binary for Queen or King.

Anyway, I'm not out yet to family, but working on my wonderful booklet. I'm out to a group of people at LGBT, two of who I knew before hand. Although one of them thought I was homosexual, which I wasn't expecting him to think, so I told him my entire sexuality story, as I haven't got anyone else to tell that to and It was something to talk about.

 

I knew something was off about my gender as a child and I had quite a bit of dysphoria. Then life got in the way and I "forgot" about it - although not really - I was rather running away.

I officially accepted myself as not being a guy around February or so this year. Then around April I accepted that I'm a girl. And yeah, that's about it. (=

 

In July I started questioning my gender, I thought I was non-binary, but no label fitted me, I went into denial until August and I relised Im a girl, I accepted myself in September

The signs from my child hood are, I would always put my towel like a dress after a shower and say "look mammy, I'm Lisa Simpson" I painted my nails as a two year old, I always called little kids and animals cute, and I never wanted a body like Dad's and always dreaded the day I would have a big, hairy body

---------- Post added 27th Dec 2015 at 02:51 AM ----------

Oh also before playschool (preschool to you Americans) my friends where girls

 

I had a wonderful childhood as a female. I was the most tomboyish out of my friends (refusing to do hair, not wanting to play house and instead go outside, not dressing up, etc).

Then puberty hit.

I hated my breasts and tried to learn to love them, but I just couldn't. I always felt the need to hide them. I always desired a smaller chest as well, thinking it was impossible for a "girl" to want a flat chest.

I tried to force myself to be more feminine. I wanted to be more feminine and actually take time and effort to put on makeup and look pretty. Didn't work.

I could never, ever, imagine myself as a female in a relationship with a male. I felt weird just thinking about it. I could always imagine myself as a male in a relationship with another male, though. (I wrote that one off as being a crazy fangirl or something)

Whenever I tried flirting with straight guys, nothing ever worked. This also brings me to the thought that a straight guy being attracted to me seemed pretty odd.

I fell into a pit of depression and honestly, I still feel like I'm battling it to this day. I only had a 9-month happy streak in grade seven because I had a lot of friends and I was quite the comedian.

After that school year, things went back to the way they were. In late July/August of 2014, I realized I might not be cis. I identified as bigender, then agender, and I'm finally here now. Right now, things are going real slow for me. But I'm sure I'll become happier when I start hormones/get top surgery somewhere in the future...

 

I think I started questioning maybe like half a year ago.
I met a friend at school and we followed each other on tumblr. When I looked at her tumblr, I found out she was agender, and at that time I had never heard of nonbinary genders. SO I became educated really fast, because I was curious. And that's when I realized that I never really felt like a girl.

Just all these experiences came back to me. Like I remember being outside with my friends years ago. We were all "girls" except for one of our friends who was a boy. All the other girls were talking about boys and drama...the boy and I wanted to play soccer or something and we were trying to get the rest to stop talking and play with us.
He said, "__ and I are the only not girls here!!" (referring to me) I just remember feeling so awesome after he said that, but I didn't really understand why at the time.

I remember when I was pretty young I was walking through a department store and I saw a maniquin in the boys department and I was just so admiring of it. I wanted to look like that (namely the flat chest)

I went from identifying as demigirl to genderfluid finally to agender.