If you could have a (rough) new start as YOURSELF

Would I go back to high school and transition now even if it was rough? Yea. So much missed time but whatever. Can't dwell on it.

 

If I knew in high school what I know now I would of transition then. My dysphoria was severe in high school, but upong exiting puberty it dropped to mild/barely there.
I'm currently thinking about going to college out of state, or at least out of this town, and I would definitely start transitioning.
But I guess it would be easier for a FtM to present as a male than a MtF to present as female, one society doesn't seem to care about while the other seems to cause outrage.

 

Well my family has finally started to accept after saying "there was no indication of this" at all.

So if they are starting to accept it now I wonder how my family would have taken it 20 years ago.

 

As my therapist said I wasn't ready that's why it took me so long to come out. But assuming if I know what I know now and you put me 20 years in the past? Yea I'd transition.

 

I would love to go back 11 1/2 years back to 2004 when I was a 2 year old and keep on saying that I'm really a girl and sneak into my sisters closet and wear her dresses and ask for barbies and dolls when Christmas came around, and see if they take the hint, I would be willing to relive 11 1/2 years if I could libe them as a girl and take back my girlhood that has been stolen from me from a stupid y chromosome

 

I wouldn't give up my friends or family. Just that if I had transition in the past I feel I would if been farther in life. No matter when I transition I would have to work my friends and family into it slowly.

 

I wanted to transition badly when I was a junior in high school, and keeping it bottled in was why I almost dropped out that year and couldn't bring myself to finish my senior year there.

Had I found the courage to say 'fuck it' and come out, I would have, especially with the waves of love and support I was met with (with one childhood friend asking me whose ass did she have to kick after I made a vague post about some transphobic shit someone said on my Facebook feed) after I officially came out 2.5 years ago. I'm pretty sure if I did that, I could have been much further along down the road and possibly be in a place where I'd be post-op.

 

Building confidence when you have low self-esteem can be mega hard, but I feel that once you find the right support group, you'll start beaming and things will get easier. Looking back on how I was over five years ago, I was super ambitious with wanting to come out despite being scared as hell. I was in that state of wanting to just do it; rather than remembering that before I can run, I need to learn how to crawl.

 

Careful with the wife... One thing is to physically give birth, and another is to care for both the baby and the mother. When you are not only engaged on the kid's life, but also being the main provider.
A pregnancy is 9 months, a job lasts many years, and as an adult I look back and to me it's clear that my father had played the most important of parental roles.

That being said, be concious that if your wife doesn't care about you, she'll do anything to stop you, including emotional blackmail, and it's not completly out of the question she wouldn't use the child as a shield or even weapon.

I'm 32 now, and all I can say is that waiting is not a solution : It makes everything worse. It adds memories, bad experiences, and steals you chances of a better transition.

All new starts are rough one way or another.
I also agree with Daydreamer about learning to crawl before learning to walk.