Femme transboy - am I still valid?

Hello,

Gender identity and gender expression are two different things. Identity is how you see yourself in terms of body, socially and mind. (reference - Dysphoria Chart - Imgur) whereas expression is what you do in terms of clothing, activities, shows etc.

So you can be a feminine transmale or a feminine cisfemale and you'd still like the same things, so it's really about whether you feel male or female in terms of identity.

 

Totally valid! Do what makes you happy

 

Join the wonderful club of femme transmen, it's wonderful!

Though I will forever find it sad that liking certain things is considered "girly" or "boyish", you're You. Like You things, dress in You clothes.

 

Totally fine! My experience is similar, and I'm still definitely a trans guy. A good rule to follow is "if a cis guy liked this, would that make him trans?" A cis guy wearing dresses wouldn't be trans. A cis guy who liked pink wouldn't be trans. A cis guy who liked cute animals wouldn't be trans (he would just be sensible. Seriously, who doesn't like cute animals?). Some people will doubt your gender because you're femme, but they are the ones who are wrong, not you.

 

I'm a bit feminine myaelf , espiecally in my response to things. Like I flip out over cuts animals and clap mybhands like a little girl when I get excited. I never saw boys do this much so I always felt like it would invalidate me.
Luckily I watch a lot of YouTube gaming channels and I have started noticing a lot of the guys I'm subscribe have a few "girly" things they do once in a while. One guy who claps his hands when excited, the majority flip over cute animals, I've seen most cry at sad parts in games, get scared shitless in horror games, and just several other things.

I don't think there are really "boyish" things or "girl" things. Some of the things I do is seen as girly because that is what people view my body as. A guy can do the same things and people will see it as a natural man thing.
And I think I lost my train of thought.

Don't worry boy being femme, several cis males are that way as well, some gay and some straight but both femme.

 

Hi Johan!

First, just wanted to say welcome to EC. I hope you like it here and that we can be a great support system for you.

Onto your question about if you're still valid for being a femme transboy. The short and simple answer is, of course you are! Your identity is just as valid and true as someone who is hypermasculine or somewhere in between. You're not less of a man for it. There is no one way to be trans, and we call come in different shapes and sizes. The only wrong way there is to be trans, in my eyes, is when people police others on how they present and tell them they aren't a "real man" or "real woman" because they like things that are "traditionally feminine and masculine" (respectively).

I love shades of pink and cute animals (I squee when I see vines and gifs of otters, cats, and dogs), and my partner is a femme transguy who loves fashion and makeup--and his identity is valid as fuck. Stay true to yourself and screw anyone who gives you hell for liking what you do. \m/

 

Sure you are! (!)

 

Honestly, it makes sense that many trans men are feminine. We were socialized and spent much of our lives being treated female by society. Personally, I am fairly "masculine" and was always considered a tomboy as a child. But it doesn't make a difference. If you consider yourself male, then what society deems to be male or female activities doesn't matter. You are who you are, and it doesn't invalidate you.

 

You pretty much described me with your first post.
The funny thing is, when I was still perceived as a girl I couldn't stand admitting to liking cute things or whatever, but now that I started hormones and pass 100% I feel much more free and openly talk about those things.
Since starting University and studying literature I've also realized that a lot of cis guys drop the macho act once they are older and openly admit to liking fashion and "girly" things. (My cis friend asked me to go to a sewing workshop with him and I said yes. I would have never done that before transitioning. )

 

I'm somewhat of a masculine trans woman in terms of my interests lIke violent movies and video games and beer and stuff ... so what? I'm also very girly and love makeup and dresses and pretty things. Fuck gender expectations right? Be happy with you.

 

OF course there are femme cis boys so why not femme trans boys

 

Well since I see myself as more of a "tomboy" or at least semi-masculine transgirl I certainly hope you're "valid" because otherwise that probably means Im not either. So yeah, no one but you gets to say whether or not you're valid.

 

I'm not surprized either. When I hit puberty I got picked on a LOT and people often wouldn't date me if I acted more like myself. I took on lots of male gender roles in my relationships and I have many manly hobbies, but that doesn't mean I'm not a girl. I have just been rewarded for embracing things that helped me to survive. I also found ways to suppress my dysphoria through some of those things, like finding really girly "male" jewelry or making friends with boys (although I do NOW realize all my best friends are agen, trans, or genderfluid.)

Just because you only started doing something to survive doesn't mean you aren't allowed to enjoy it.

Not to mention, womens clothing is awesome.

 

I pretty much agree with everyone above. Sometimes I act pretty male or female (although these are pretty much intersex traits that I will be talking about) by singing in a deep voice despite passing as mainly AFAB, having male muscle patterns, broad shoulders, fat distribution typical of a male etc. but wearing female clothes. (Although it is important to mention that I am agender.) Not to mention that sometimes I will sometimes dress in a masculine or androgynous way just for experimentation purposes, and because it doesn't emphasize the few body parts that I have that look female. None of the things listed above will preclude me from identifying as agender, which is what I wanted to express to everyone on here.

 

Totally feel the same way! You are 100% valid. When I get older I would love to do drag. Its super fun ~ You could say, we already put on drag before if you ever wore a dress or something. I like to think of it that way. =)

 

Of course. I'm a cis male and I'm more feminine then most of the girls I know. Not fitting the cookie cutter definition of what society tells you a boy is supposed to be does not mean you aren't trans. There's nothing wrong with not conforming to gender roles, they're stupid and pointless anyway.

 

Yes. I use this very phenomenon to validate cis femme guys.