I had a very sheltered childhood growing up, to the point where I knew next to nothing about the world outside of my daily life. Luckily my mom wasn't very strict on clothing so I would mostly wear jeans, shorts, and t-shirts to school with the exception of a skirt or dress if there was nothing else to wear. A majority of my friends were guys that I could rough house with. The only time that I would play with barbies and other feminine things was when I played with other girls or was stuck inside bored. I would even wrestle with my cousin, who is a year younger than me, and win now he's scared of me. I never knew there was such a thing as being transgender until recently. One of my friends came out as trans and it got me thinking about my life. These new thoughts weren't a sudden thing either. Before I even knew what trans was there were times in the bathroom were where I would stare at my chest and think about getting a chest reduction in the future even though my chest is average sized, I still wanted them smaller. To this day I've only worn sports bras and baggy clothes; hating every moment that I have to dress up and look feminine. When I'm called my birth name and feminine pronouns I just feel gross inside. The very few times that I have been called by masculine pronouns it just felt nice. Sorry for this being long but I could use all the help and advice that you guys can give me. Thanks.
The only person that can truly know your gender identity is you, and you clearly stated on your profile: "Gender: Male (trans*)". If this is something you felt right putting on there, then that's the answer to your question.
Hello, welcome to EC! (*hug*) I would suggest continuing to experiment with gender expression, and continuing to keep track of how things feel. You do sound like you could be trans to me, but only you can be the judge of that, frustrating as it is. Feel free to message me once you get 10 posts if you need anything else! -Cody
You don't sound cis, and there's nothing you said that suggests that you're not a trans guy. If the label feels accurate to you, then I think you're right.
That all sounds a lot like how I was, just backwards. Except, for me I was much more neutral on the subject. I am much closer to the middle of the spectrum; a bit of a tomboy. So, I didn't really notice until later in life that I preferred to be female, because my tastes in clothing and my body and social roles all just became too much. That "gross" feeling is deep within me as well and I still don't know WHAT to call it. But I'd say it is totally up to you who you are, and you seem to already know. I keep "flip-flopping" as my wife calls it, and re-evaluating OVER and OVER if I'm REALLY trans or not. It's scary and some days I just wish it would GO AWAY because it's so intimidating. But I'm here to message anytime because I think I get it. I hope you become confident in your identity, though. It's jsut one more step on the path to happiness, right?
Sounds a lot like what I have felt in my life. I am 51 and just now dealing with it. I wish I had listened to my heart a long time ago.
