I'd really need your help on how to date women when one is assigned female at birth but doesn't feel like a female but looks like a female. Thank you. I tried to go on dating sites to find queer women but so far it's not working. It's getting more and more impossible to be honest. Lesbian is a woman who's sexually and/or romantically attracted to other women and it's the root of my problem - that I don't feel like a woman, I mean. When I don't tell them that I feel like I'm hiding something because in their adds even the bi girls mention they are interested in seeing a woman, but when I do I get into a difficult conversation that's being hardly understood. For example there was one girl who seemed to get it but then when we met in person she told me "but you don't look that masculine" (I really wanted to go home the very second she said it to me). On the other hand I don't pass as a guy so there's zero chance a straight girl would be interested in me. What can I do? I live more or less in the middle of nowhere so I don't expect to meet any open minded queer women any time soon. :icon_sad:
Well, if you're planning on transitioning that will help people see you as more of a man. It would be nice if you could just say "I'm a man" and everyone would look at you and think "man", but of course that's not how our brains work, so if you really want people to see you as a man you need to try to appear more like one, even if you don't totally pass. It sucks, it isn't fair, but that's the way people are. Other than that, my only recommendation is try online dating, and seek out pansexual people especially (maybe bisexual too), because frankly they probably don't care what gender you look like or identify as; they care if you are a cool person and if you are attractive.
Until you pass, I recommend mainly looking to date bi and pan girls. My girlfriend is pan, which meant she was attracted to me even though my body isn't male, but she still sees me as a guy and is perfectly comfortable having a boyfriend. There are definitely open minded straight girls, but it's usually easier to find someone bi or pan.
