Hi over the past couple months I've been questioning being transgender (ftm). I've always been a tomboy. I've worn mostly boy clothes and have had short hair since I was in like grade 2. I'm now 20 years old. I've just always felt more comfortable in boy clothes. I also do experience top dysphoria but not really bottom dysphoria. As a child I was always mistaken for a boy and still do sometimes and I'm only kind of uncomfortable with it when I'm with my friends but when I'm by myself I'm somewhat okay with it. Also as a child I played with cars and video games but I do remember having dolls and Barbies but i did cut their hair off.
This is not that uncommon! Although I'm sure you're aware, remember that gender expression (clothing, hairstyles, etc) and interests are not perfect indicators of gender identity. If you're happy as a masculine/butch woman, there's nothing wrong with that at all! However, if you're experiencing dysphoria, that may indicate that you are not fully happy as a woman. Have you tried binding to see how that feels for you? Although it is an initial financial investment to purchase a binder, it's a great way to experiment with gender because it's completely non-permanent and you can do it somewhat privately. You may also be some flavor of genderqueer/non-binary. Even if you do want to transition (perhaps for your top dysphoria), it's not an all-or-none thing. There are plenty of people who, for example, get top surgery but never go on testosterone or present publicly as male. You are more than welcome to pick the parts that make sense for you and eschew the parts that don't!
If it's just your chest that bothers you and you're kind of uncomfortable, you're probably not trans. Liking masculine things doesn't mean you're a guy.
I'm also questioning my FTM status, and leaning more towards genderfluid/bigender. There exists two spirits that I can't ignore. For me, it helped to envision myself being born an assigned male at birth & to feel my level of comfort with this, vs being born an assigned female at birth. It's a matter of allowing yourself to evolve over time, without rushing to find a label, as sometimes we try to fit in thus ignoring our true nature. I had varying levels of dysphoria but after I came out of the "trans closet" it has been decreasing. I'm allowing myself to explore my possible gender fluidity as I don't feel 100% male. For this reason I'm holding off on T although getting top surgery. And as fabuloustodd pointed out, there are others that exist who share our center of the road transition/identity. It's a journey so we all might as well enjoy it
The thing that struck out the most to me was that you're only "Somewhat ok" with being perceived as male. The first time I actually passed was like an epiphany to me, I couldn't get enough I wanted to pass all the time. So maybe think about that feeling a bit more, if it's only somewhat ok to be read as male but you're completely fine with being read as female, maybe you need to do a bit more exploring. ^^ I think you can't generalize like that. Dysphoria is different for everyone, though I do agree with your second statement.
Although I do agree it's always worth remembering that if you're uncomfortable with your chest and nothing else it can just be dysmorphia, I think it's inaccurate to say that if you only have top dysphoria you're probably not trans, especially to someone who's just starting to question their gender. Top dysphoria was the first thing I became aware of, so for a long time I thought that was the only dysphoria I had. I actually have significantly more dysphoria than I had realized, but didn't recognize that those feelings had been dysphoria. If I'd been told when I first started questioning that I probably wasn't trans cuz all I had was top dysphoria, that would have been discouraging and inaccurate. OP, a lot of what you said reminds me of the reasons I first started thinking I was trans (top dysphoria, you mentioned in the other version of this thread wanting to be a guy in a relationship with a girl), but they also weren't enough for me to know I was trans for sure. For me, it took realizing that I had more than just top dysphoria, I saw myself as a guy in the mirror even when I didn't pass, I naturally assumed I was going to grow up to be a guy, etc. to be sure. It'll take some time for you to collect more evidence and be sure too. It's entirely possible that you're cis, but it's also entirely possible that you're trans, so just wait it out and see how things progress.
