Hi over the past couple months I've been questioning being transgender (ftm). I've always been a tomboy. I've worn mostly boy clothes and have had short hair since I was in like grade 2. I'm now 20 years old. I've just always felt more comfortable in boy clothes. I also do experience top dysphoria but not really bottom dysphoria. As a child I was always mistaken for a boy and still do sometimes and I'm only kind of uncomfortable with it when I'm with my friends but when I'm by myself I'm somewhat okay with it. Also as a child I played with cars and video games but I do remember having dolls and Barbies but i did cut their hair off. When I go shopping for clothes I go straight to the guy section; I rarely ever go to the women's section. I hate when clothes are tight on me especially shirts. Lastly I can see myself more comfortable being a guy in a relationship with a girl than being a girl in a relationship with a guy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
So most of what you listed is just stereotypes, which don't define gender, but you did say you have top dysphoria and that you'd like to be a guy in a relationship with a girl. I can't tell you what you are (both because only you can know for sure, and because I simply don't have enough information to point you in the direction of what I would suspect would be the right label), but I think it's definitely possible you're not cis, and it's worth continuing to think about. The questions I generally ask myself are: What body do you want? (the answer doesn't have to be "male" or "female"; it can be "flat chest, but don't change anything else" or "flat chest, deep voice, but I'm fine with what I've got in my pants") How do you want to be seen (not how you want to be treated; do you want people to look at you and think you're a guy, a girl, or so androgynous they can't tell?) What pronouns feel most comfortable? How do you feel about your name? Figure out how you want to live your life (physically and socially), and then pick the word that describes it. Comfort comes first; labels just describe the body and/or words that make you comfortable.
