Mom says she accepts me, but...

I know this post is primarily about you wanting your mother to support you, but since you are an adult, I don't think you should let her decide if you transition or not.
My mother is acting pretty strange about this too, but in my case it's partly my fault because I don't talk to her enough about what I want her to do.
Maybe confront your mother and say: Listen, Mom. I know what you think. But I am a man. I am a legit man. It's not my sex that defines my gender. And I want you to use my preffered name, because it's who I am and my official name isn't. If you want me to be happy and feel content talking to you, just accept this.

I don't know if this helped at all. Like I said I'm quite unexperienced and generally hate talking about serious stuff.
I wish you the best of luck

 

Wow man ,your mother's reaction is just the same as my mother's . I listend to her that I don't have to mess with hormones and its funny even thinking that I am guy and I after time ,after pressuring myself to think and be someone I'm not I fell into really bad depression. I done everything to make her understand me and why its so important to me ,but she never looked me in the eyes telling my real name and pronouns . After I had enough, I took my life in my hands .So what I done to be myself is just after 18 I moved out and started T . Now I'm a lot happier and much confident . I love my mom of course but I couldn't wait my whole life for her to understand me . Don't let anyone to tell you who you are ,or who you're not. Don't make the mistake to wait for your mother's approval to be who you are. I wish you the best !

 

Well, she says she accepts you but the truth is she doesn't, she just tolerates you to some extent and what she says, I can't even repeat that BS, comes either from her ignorance of trans issues or her denial, could be both. Yes, it'd be easier for you to have her approval but you don't need it. Maybe when she sees your facial hair growing and overall you becoming masculine, maybe then she could understand you really are a man. (*hug*)

 

I seem to be having similar issues with my mom. She's a lovely, beautiful, completely wonderful woman and I love her to pieces. I'm so dependent on her financially and emotionally as well even with other relatives in my life. We connect on so much, but for this issue it's a bit different.

When I told her I was going through these issues of who I am, wanting to be seen more as a boy than a woman, wanting to be called male pronouns or they/them pronouns I'm not sure she fully understands it. She says she still loves me no matter what and I believe her, I just don't think she really get's this. Like, when I reminded her to call me by my male name that I chose, she seemed reluctant to understand how important this is to me. I'm not sure she'll ever see the guy part of me, more like she still thinks Im' a beautiful soul, a wonderful person, but not nothing to address my male side.

Also when I told her that this gender issue I've been having is a major reason why I've been so stressed out, can't concentrate too much on classes or think right at a job where I was working at had me surrounded my male and female clothing. She said that everyone has issues, and that school is more important than that right now, and I need to just take this in the back of my mind. Well. In theory that sounds like a wonderful idea. But when you're constantly questioning your gender and identity, being surrounded by things that further pull you apart from who you feel and think you are, it's not simply something one can move off to the side. At least not for me.

So I do understand your mother debate, and I am still trying to get her to understand this whole thing and try to get her to use my male name and use more male pronouns or gender neutral ones. You're not being radical or irrational wanting to be who you feel you are, she's the one who's being radical and irrational for not seeing how this is effecting you in your daily life or understanding how you feel.

Maybe gently explain to her how this is affecting you and remind her that it's still YOU, just not on the outside. Sorry if this isn't helpful in the least, but I do think you need to talk to her more about this.

 

I don't think you can make her understand in any way : She's got a mind of her own, and you will be a baby for her for all your life... It's just what mothers think about their children, even if they are 40 and married, you are for her still a baby...

Haven't heard of any single supportive mother for transmen. Perhaps they do exist in some other planet, but clearly not on the one we are living in. So don't think it's you who is to blame. I never had a good relationship with my mother, and to this day we are not talking to each other at all. I don't even think I'd go to her funeral, you know, I just don't care anymore...

As long as you are dependent on her, you are f... You've got to chose between your life or hers. Some will tell you that you should go through those two years, but guess what... After college you won't be greeted by *insert fortune 500 name* and the words 'Please, come to work for us!! We'll pay you whatever you want, you'll be our next CEO tomorrow!!' Nope... You just come out fresh of college and have to find your way, same as we all did, struggle and fight until you are more or less independent... And that takes time, sometimes YEARS, until you start to build something like a career, which is nothing but cash that flows regularly into your bank account.

Long story short... It's your choice. If you take a job now and move out, you'll finally start your life, and if she doesn't accept your choices, then you don't have to accept hers. After all this is all about you, or at least it should be.
Or you could stay, keep quiet and just lie to her, finish college, stay around for 1-3 years more of her bullshit, and see what happens and in what state you are, and I mean here about your mental state.

I'd say take all the money you've got, tell mommy bye-bye and live your life the way you want to. It won't be nice and it won't be easy, but at least it will be yours.

And even if you came out as a cis gender heterosexual, in life there is nothing but randomness and chaos. You can't predict you won't get fired tomorrow. You can't predict you won't get sick. Or get killed. Or just have a heart attack. To live is to be exposed to many risks, and the only way to go is to go through...

nobody knows what'll happen tomorrow, and it's somehow scary, yes... But that is what makes life exciting as well.

 

When did you come out? If you only came out recently (as in a few days/weeks), try to give her some time. I know it sucks but try to think how long it probably took you to come out to yourself and her, sometimes it's just as confusing to parents as it is for us.
The good things is that she said she's always going to support you. Work on that. When I came out to my mother I was so happy I was finally "allowed" to talk about it I dumped a lot of information on her and it was too much and she got confused and sometimes confusion leads to anger.
If you've come out a long time ago, try to have a last talk with her. Sit her down, try to explain everything firmly. When I came out I also made sure to tell them that this was gonna happen no matter what and if they weren't gonna accept me I simply would have cut off the contact after moving out for college.