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My dad is trying to understand but itsnt getting it

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by The Purple One3, Jan 3, 2016.

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  1. The Purple One3

    The Purple One3
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So ever since I came out a few months ago, my dad has been trying to grasp what a transgender is, what defines gender, the list goes on. A big issue I've been having when we discuss it, is me not being able to accurately describe anything. Like, "what makes you think that you think like a girl?" Nothing has clicked yet so that he believes that I am a girl. I just need help explaining what this stuff is because for whatever reason I'm terrible at it. I keep saying things like "its kinda a feeling thing" but I know there's more to it! I just need some solid terms and definitions to keep in mind, especially because he's taking me to my family doctor tomorro because he wants to see "if there's something wrong with me" or something. I need to make sure that my doctor sets me on the right path. Maybe this could lead to a therapist who can help me! So I just need a little guidance on explaing gender and whatnot.. That would be helpful
     
    #1 The Purple One3, Jan 3, 2016
  2. Distant Echo

    Distant Echo
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    Ask him how he knows he's male. What makes him feel male. How he knows he thinks like a male
     
    #2 Distant Echo, Jan 3, 2016
  3. The Purple One3

    The Purple One3
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    Ok, I'll try that, but I'm going to need a little more.. When you think about it, describing gender is difficult. ..at least when your me.
     
    #3 The Purple One3, Jan 3, 2016
  4. Distant Echo

    Distant Echo
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    But he might understand what difficulty you are having, if he can't describe it himself. Chances are you are going to get a response like "I just know" there's your answer to him....
     
    #4 Distant Echo, Jan 3, 2016
  5. The Purple One3

    The Purple One3
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    Oooh that does make sense! Thank you! Cause either way he'll end up saying he "just knows"
     
    #5 The Purple One3, Jan 3, 2016
  6. tulipinacup

    tulipinacup
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    I think it's great that your dad is trying to understand where you are coming from. With your age it can be really difficult for you to explain to him and that's probably why he wants to make sure there is nothing wrong with you. I think going to a licensed therapist is a good idea because they can guide you and your father.
     
    #6 tulipinacup, Jan 3, 2016
  7. The Purple One3

    The Purple One3
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    Well, the biggest problem with my dad is that he is VEEY rooted in his christianity, thinks that things that gay people do are sinful, and thinks that keeping me faithful ti to God (which I'm not) is more important than my feelings. So me and my brother have been trying to open his mind up to more to gender identity and sexualities as time moves foward. I just can't explain gender identity to save my life! And I'm going to have to tomorrow
     
    #7 The Purple One3, Jan 3, 2016
  8. Jellal

    Jellal
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    I hope this helps you:

    A big part of knowing who I am comes from knowing what makes me uncomfortable. I don't like being called "boy," "man," "he" because I hear stuff like that and I feel everyone is getting me wrong. Something as simple as that, being honest about what sets me off deep down, makes me more aware of who I am.

    So it's not just a feeling, but it is a set of specific feelings that can be in response to words I hear, things like my reflection or the way my body is designed. Those feelings are all good indicators of my identity.

    I think there might be something similar for you, yes?
     
    #8 Jellal, Jan 4, 2016
  9. The Purple One3

    The Purple One3
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    Definately. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you so much (*hug*)
     
    #9 The Purple One3, Jan 4, 2016
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