*TRIGGER WARNING* I don't know if what I am about to say even warrants a trigger warning but I don't want anyone to be hurt so yeah. I'm at my breaking point, depression (I'm bipolar) and gender dysphoria are just kicking my ass and I feel so unmotivated. I'm finding it hard to continue with this pain. I haven't come out to anyone in my family and each tume they misgender me and every time my birth giver says "You're a man now act like it!" It kills me. I've come super close to just yelling out everytjing that I'm keeping a secret (mostly that I am bisexual and especially the fact that I am mtf). I want to express who I really am and not pretend to be what everyone expects me to be! I'm tired of this FML I feel so alone and desperate for any type of help..
Hi Lady Diana. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. There is nothing worse than being in a position where no one respects (or knows) who you really are. The only thing I can recommend is looking at the end goal here. Have you set a time in which you want to come out to your family? Is there a particular reason why you can't ask them (fearing that you will get kicked out, etc.)? I feel like it's easier for people like us to cope with our identities if we allow ourselves to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and the only way we can do that is by knowing what the light is, and how we're going to reach it. Otherwise, it'll just seem like you're heading no where near where you want to be.
Lady Diana, your not alone. No matter how you feel. I had alot more written but even now I find it hard to talk about my past even with the anonymity of forum posts.
In all honesty, this would have killed me too. What he means has nothing to do with being a man, and men saying such stuff are rarely role models to me. You need to reach out to a LGBT Center. Probably just by going there and talk to someone.
I honestly have the same thing happen to me. All my life, my dad has pretty much said how much of a disappoint I am for a daughter, and I haven't even come out to him yet. However, everyone else but my friends misgender me. It's one of the worst feelings in the world. You're definitely not alone. Whenever there's a safe opportunity for you to come out to your parents, take it. Or if you're sure that your parents will react badly, find a friend that you can trust and come out to them. It will take a huge weight off of your chest, and you'll have an ally. Also, I found out when I came out to my friends that some of them were in the same boat as me. I also agree with the light at the end of the tunnel idea. I have anxiety, and I find that turning the negative thoughts into positive ones really help me out.
