What does gender feel like?

I swear this thread has been started a million times but I tried to look for it but I couldn't find it, just some that are really similar. Anyway, people will come and say things like:

"It is not really about stereotypes or gender expression, it is just more of an inner sense of what your gender should be".
"You just know".
"I don't know, I can't really feel it either".
"Focus more about your body and how you want to be seen" < This one I think is the best answer.

 

"Focus more about your body and how you want to be seen" < This one I think is the best answer.


And if you want to be seen as both and/ or neither at times? What does it even mean? Is that being genderqueer, or a bit transgendered or what? I was told that being transgendered means you don't like your birth gender, but I do like my birth gender, but don't like to tick the box when it asks me if I am male or female. What does this mean? Sigh, I am now unsure of myself. Not trying to be disrespectful to anyone, just inside my own head trying to figure these things out.

 

Well, being ok with your body but not on with how others perceive you, and desire to not specify male or female... by the book it means some none binary variant. Technically speaking genderqueer or any other non binary identity that doesn't match the assigned at birth gender is a trans identity... as trans means things like beyond, across. Beyond gender, across gender.

And how does being a gender feel like? I believe there isn't such a thing, at least not for me. It's more about how comfortable you are about being perceived on the basis of your physical sex, and how much you identify with your peers of said sex. For me there is a desire to be always perceived like the girls are, to romantically express myself as a woman, and to change my body to also let me be closer to how I feel I should be viewed. I'm making it simpler than it is as I'm still in a bit of a struggle to define myself, but that was my reason to initially identify as non binary. I felt that I'm ok with the body, but didt want to be perceived as male, and didn't really feel that being the opposite is what I want.

It changed for me because the more I admitted to being non binary, the more I realised I always focus on the female end of the spectrum. I believe that I perceive emotions the way women tend to describe it, I don't understand men enough to feel some common ground with them. My brain just seems to work more like that of a woman - in spite of my interests being largely fine for males.

If for you such feelings of being in the middle are stable... then it would very likely indicate you're of some non binary variant, and these are trans identities. One of the things you can do is find non binary people on YouTube and learn their perspective, also learn mtf/ftm to see the difference... And as easy as it sounds by definition...it is not so easy to see for yourself. Takes a lot of self exploration.

 

Gender is one of those many things in the world that have a different definition depending on the person you ask. Everyone experiences gender in a different way so everyone has a different definition.
For me, I don't know what gender feels like. I do know that I wish my body were that of a man's. I believe I should of been born one, but that doesn't mean I was born in the wrong body. I also don't care how people view me so long as it is as a person.
Gender is a complicated thing

 

It doesn't feel like anything to me. I don't feel my gender. I don't know what that would feel like. I'm a guy because I want to be one physically and socially.

Since you don't seem to have a feeling of gender either, you'd probably be best off just following the "what do you want to be physically and socially" definition of gender. Sounds like you don't want to be entirely physically female, which does suggest that you are not cis. What would your body be ideally? Male parts? A mix? A magical ability to change it? How about what you want to be socially? Do you want people to assume you're a guy, a girl, or so neutral they can't tell?

 

I identify as female because why not? At school, I often feel that I relate to the boys more than to the girls, but I don't think that means I shouldn't call myself a girl. I just don't have a reason to identify as any other gender.

 

Since getting further into my transition, gender stopped feeling like much at all. I think this is how most people feel. Maybe they have some curiosity about being the opposite sex, I can understand that. There are some things about social gender that are frustrating, and some that are enjoyable. But it's nothing like it was before.

There are of course psychological side effects of my medicine which are to be expected. But I think it would be wrong to answer your question that way, gender is more than your sex and people aren't robots. There are also a lot of things I associate with being a woman, that make me feel like a woman, but I think it's wrong to answer your question that way too. Those are mine, they might not be someone else's. I think, being a woman or a man, it's more than just your biology. I mean I'm a human being, you know? A complicated human being with experiences unique to me, and shared with other people. And also, a huge part of what gender used to feel like, was my dysphoria. Which still does crop up from time to time, but not the way it used to. I was thinking about this while walking around earlier today, I was a little concerned with my appearance, and I compared how I felt right then to the last time I could remember going out presenting male. What I felt back then was definitely feeling gender. This? This was feeling maybe unattractive is the best word. It was a million times better than the old feeling.

I guess it's a combination of the three. The dysphoria wherever it's mismatched, the biological effects my body has on my mind, and my environment.