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I'm not sure...any advice?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by GayPugs, Jan 7, 2016.

  1. GayPugs

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    I'm a very girly person but I...I just don't know...I'm much better at being a boy. I had imaginary friends when I was younger and they were both boys. I still talk to them sometimes. Sometimes I feel really like a boy. Does this mean I'm transgender? Or maybe gender fluid???
     
  2. Athexant

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    This is kind of a hard question to answer. Everyone goes through these periods of thinking about if they're actually a member of the other gender. However, I wouldn't say you're transgender just because you talk to two friends that happen to be male. Most of my friends are male, but I always knew that I was a boy on the inside. I hated doing anything even remotely girly, so I had this image that all females did really girly things. I have more friends of the opposite sex now, and there are some inherently feminine things that I like. However, I've always felt like I should have been born male.

    Do you feel any body dysphoria? Is it a type of thing where you feel that being male would be good because they don't have problems that females have? I find that there are a lot of people that think they're trans because they like a lot of masculine things and don't fit in with the female stereotype. That's why it's hard to determine if someone is trans or not.
     
  3. Galah2

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    It's up to you how you identify. There are a TON of gender identities, and you may not fit neatly into any of the more common label ones. That being said, to help figure it out, try checking in with yourself. Do you feel masculine more often than not? You may be trans, demiboy, or male-leaning androgynous, among other things. There are a lot of ways to interpret your feelings. The important thing in my opinion is to not feel pressured into choosing a label. Also, remember that gender is different for a lot of people. There are guys who are into makeup and traditionally "female" things. And vice versa. Good luck finding out who you are! It's nerve-wracking, I know, but take your time and be honest with yourself. That should lead you in the right direction to begin.
     
  4. GayPugs

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    I feel fine with my body (and actually kind of like it). I'm exciting about my newly forming curves and breasts but I still sometimes feel like...I could totally live as a boy. And maybe I should...? Eh, it's probably stupid.
     
  5. Ram90

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    How do you feel when you think you could live as a boy? Does it stem from stereotypes? Do you feel like you can live as a boy because you have mannerisms similar to boys? Or perhaps hobbies and interests which mimic those of what stereotypical boys would have?

    Since you say you're comfortable in your body, I think it might be what you perceive.
     
  6. GayPugs

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    I guess it's more...I would rather live as a normal boy who likes girls than a weird lesbian girl. Being a boy would make so many things easier. I wouldn't have to deal with all the drama of the girl friends I have and people wouldn't look at me weird when I say I'm dating a girl.
     
  7. Invidia

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    It sounds to me mostly like you feel weird because you're being mistreated by your environment because you're a girl and there are some things you would prefer about being a boy. But... ask yourself... If being a homosexual girl wasn't considered weird at all in society, if you weren't expected to deal with the drama of your girl friends, etc. etc... Would you still have a problem with being a girl?
     
  8. darkcomesoon

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    Doesn't sound like you're trans to me. Sounds like you want to escape homophobia.

    Believe me, being trans isn't easy either. You don't get to magically become a "normal boy". Most of the time, people see you as a lesbian anyway. You have to come out to all your friends and family members and essentially everyone you know (it's much less private than your sexuality), and it's much harder for them to deal with having to see you as a different gender than it is for them to get used to you dating girls. Unless you have a significantly masculine body and face already, you will have to deal with (at least sometimes) being misgendered forever unless you take hormones. I was out as a lesbian before I came out as a trans guy and believe me, being a lesbian was way easier.

    If, after hearing this and after believing 100% that transitioning would not be easier than being a lesbian, you still think you might be trans, then it's really worth thinking about. If there's more to your questioning than just wanting to escape being a "weird lesbian" then it's really worth thinking about.
    And I know I made it sound really hard and awful to be trans, but it's not all bad. I'm glad I'm trans. It's hard, but it's who I am, and the changes I'm making in my life are worth it because they're making me happier. I just want to make sure you really understand that being trans isn't easier. But it's still doable, and it's still worth it if that's really who you are.
     
    #8 darkcomesoon, Jan 8, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2016
  9. GayPugs

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    The thing is...it's not as shallow for me as, "If you really just wanna escape homophobia than your not trans but if it's deeper than that maybe it's worth questioning." It doesn't feel so black and white. It's like...I dunno. I wish there were someone who understood the feeling a little more.