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Feel like I'm missing out on teenage years?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by noahcsc, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. noahcsc

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    You know how everyone says that your teenage years are the best years of your life, or something like that. Well, yeah, I feel like I'm missing out on a chunk of my life. I'm going to have to go through my teenage years pretending to be a girl, as my mother is confirmed to be transphobic as hell. I mean, I know I'll still get all the same experiences, but they're going to be ruined since I won't be able to experience them as a boy. I'm going to be fucking graduating from school with 'Lauren' on my fucking certificate. Yeah, this just turned out to be a vent. Oh well.
     
  2. Secrets5

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    Hello,

    Is there someone at the school who can make a second certificate for you with your preferred name?

    Perhaps you have some good friends who could help you experiance your teenage years as a boy, even if you have to present as a girl to your mum.
     
  3. Rainbows~Exist

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    The saying that your teenage years are "the best years of your life" is, in my opinion, complete and utter bullshit.
     
  4. Trypto

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    I can't say much ... But I feel you. It's the same thing for me, in particular when it comes to the name. I hate it when it's written somewhere, especially on 'important' documents. That's not who I am. I somehow get the urge to take a black marker and just go over it until you can't see it anymore and then write my chosen, real name instead...
    But we'll both make this, and one day it'll be ok. Even if we didn't have the teenage years we wanted.
     
  5. misplacedaegyo

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    I feel you soooo much. Like even if I know biological boys *hate* these things I'm just so sad that I can't experience things like awkward boners, waiting for hair to start growing on my body, voice cracks.. Like it's just not right. I'm living a decent life and doing nice things but it's just not the same and it's not right, and I will have to spend "the best years of my life", as you said, waiting for everything to become right. Of course I'm trying to get the best out of what I have, but it's just. I feel stuck
     
  6. DangerousDan

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    Whomever first said that your teenage years are the best years of your life must have been a nut job. I'm sorry you're going through this, it sucks big time man. Just think in a few more years you'll be able to go off to uni or get a job and move out from your mothers house and start living your own life the way you want to.

    Also Secrets5 suggestions are good ones if you feel up to talking to people at your school, I'm sure there'd be people there that would be happy to help you out.
     
  7. Invidia

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    I totally hear you. Like, REALLY hear you. Look on the left at how old I am. And then consider the fact that my birthday is January 14. :tears: In 5 days I won't be a teenager anymore per definition. Sure, I'm mostly 10 years old in my head, anyway, but still...

    It does suck big time. But at any rate... We were unlucky. We're an unlucky bunch. But what's important to remember is that we're unlucky in this one way. Maybe we're unlucky in some other ways, as well, but my point is that everybody are unlucky with something. What's left to do then is to, well, try to overcome that unluckiness, and also, probably more importantly on a day-to-day basis... My grandparents have a piece of writing on their wall; it says "Don't begrudge that which you do not have - rejoice for that which you do have". I think that's a very good outlook on life.
     
  8. Athexant

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    I certainly feel you as well. I hate my given birth name for how grossly feminine it is, and I would kill to see my given name and pronouns on my diploma and other legal paperwork and such. However, you're so close to being out on your own. You can be free to be yourself in college as I've heard that college was probably the best time of most peoples' lives.

    If you find that you're really upset, then you should go to a friend or two that you completely trust and come out to them. They can help by using your pronouns and name, and they can also give you experiences and make you feel more comfortable. Your true friends will be there to help you through this rough time.
     
  9. WhereWeWere

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    You're definitely not alone. I feel the exact same way.
     
  10. Kasey

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    Say that when you are 34...
     
    #10 Kasey, Jan 9, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2016
  11. JackIsANerd

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    I feel the same way, I am also currently not in school I have missed all of high school. So I am missing out on both sadly. :confused:
     
    #11 JackIsANerd, Jan 9, 2016
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  12. darkcomesoon

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    High school sucks. The idea that teenage years are the best years of your life is bullshit. So don't worry, your best years haven't come yet, and you'll probably get to live them as a boy. Being able to live as a guy will probably end up being part of the reason they are your best years, whenever they do happen.

    I feel really sad sometimes when I think about how I didn't get to have a childhood as a boy, and I start feeling like I missed out on having a proper childhood. But here's the thing, even though I didn't get to have a childhood or be a teenager as a guy, I still had a lot of good times. The fact that I did everything as the wrong gender doesn't negate the fact that a lot of the stuff I did was still really great.

    So I know it's frustrating, but your not missing out on much. Most people have something shitty to deal with that makes their high school years stressful. Yours happens to be being trans and having a transphobic mother. That doesn't mean you can't still have good times, even if they aren't quite the way you want them. And high school isn't that great anyway.
     
  13. Duane

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    I wouldn't worry about missing out on your teen years. I am nearing 40 (yikes did I actually admit that!?) and I feel like I am going through some second teen hood, only this time I feel like I can enjoy it and be myself and tell people to fuckoff when need be. Thinking back at my high school days they really sucked on many levels. However the good things is that there is no bills and people expect you to screw up. When your nearly 40 they look at you like you should know better and then pretend not to see you, unless they want to be hateful because they are hateful things.