Hello! I just joined today because I need some help figuring out what my gender is. I'm pretty young and I apologize in advance if I use some terms incorrectly, I'm not very informed on this kind of topic. I was born female/a girl and I have not really questioned it for the majority of my life. Only recently have I begun to wonder if I'm actually not a girl. I think I'm okay with being a girl most of the time, except when I experience romantic or sexual attraction. I've never been attracted to girls in any way before, only boys. When I'm attracted to boys, I feel the need to be a boy, to be male. I'm not very sure about how I feel, and I'm very confused. There's a lot of information that I can't remember off the top of my head, so if you need more then please ask and I will tell you. Thank you in advance!
I don't know how old you are, but since you use boy instead of man I'm going to guess you're pretty young. My only recommendation is to wait. I wish I could tell you "what you are" or give you some great advice, but I think this is just going to take time to figure out. Sorry, but I wish you the best!
Hi :smilewave Not everyone knows that they're transgender from a young age so it is possible that you could be a guy, maybe genderfluid or bigender? You could try experimenting with various pronouns, maybe a male or unisex name or perhaps binding (using a safe method, don't use duct tape, bandages, saran wrap, etc.) and see how you feel. You can wear two sports bras or buy an actual binder and I think there are other safe methods, I've been told that you shouldn't wear it while sleeping, exercising or for more than eight hours per day. I also found this page which may interest you: Amorgender - Gender Wiki - Wikia It's not much information but it sounds similar to what you're describing and there might be other websites on that identity which give more information. Good luck!
Alright, thank you both so much! I think I will wait for a while to be a bit more sure about how I feel. I don't think I will be trying the binding technique (with an actual binder) because my parents are extremely homophobic and transphobic. Thank you for the advice!
If it's only based on attraction, that's not a sign of being transgender. I don't know how old you are, but if you're around the age of puberty it's normal to wish you were a boy. When you're attracted to boys and you want to be a boy, that's probably caused by a fetish (even if you hadn't noticed it in any way previously).
What do you mean? I meant if it's just based on attraction it's more likely to be a fetish--but the OP may not have noticed it, because fetishes aren't always obvious so they're easy to excuse or mislabel.
Give it some time. Just wanting to be a boy in a relationship with a boy isn't enough to tell, because that could just be rejection of the gender role you'd be expected to occupy as a girl in a relationship with a boy. That being said, one of the first signs I showed of being trans was wanting to be a guy in a relationship. It turned out to be caused by dysphoria I hadn't been aware I had. If that had been the only sign of me being trans, I would still be considering myself cis. So wait it out and see if other signs arise. If they don't, I'd say you're probably cis.
It's risky to try to analyze your gender and orientation at the same time, or to try to find a justification, specially regarding sexuality. I'd say the best thing you can do is just experiment with clothing. If you have the chance to play on theatre or something, just go ahead and try to get a masculine role, see how it suits you. Whatever happens afterwards, you sure will have a lot of fun, so it's worth anyways. I understand you do worry about your parent's opinion, but their opinion doesn't mean they are right all the time. Sure they do want the best for you, but them being trans and homophobic means they won't accept it even if you need it to be happy... Which leads us to the question if it would be worth to sacrifice your own happiness just to make them happy. It's a heavy question if you love them, moreso if you are young, so write down that question, take it with you and read it often, ask yourself... Experimenting with gender expression is a lot of fun, and nobody will suspect if you do stuff like theatre where 'anything goes'. Just take your time to experiment, and have fun, and feel free to share how it went, and how you felt. There is nothing wrong with men loving other men... And not always is everything black or white on a gay relationship : There is no 'man who plays the woman role' there... At least it's not always the case, and even on heterosexual relationships the man doesn't has always to be this macho who runs to rescue princesses and kill dragons. That's just all fairy tales... Real life is much more complicated.
