I am mostly straight woman who looks like a lesbian, i was told many times or it was insinuated to me. I dont date men because i send gay signals which are false... so the men dont want me. I dont feel comfortable around them and when i see they flirt with other women but me im so disappointed that i dont have energy to do something with this. People around me think im gay and i dont have any chance to "show" im not because i cant date men. Vicious circle. i had times when i hesitated whether im straight but it was only because i didnt feel any chance in case of men thus i started to think- if i want a relationship i have to behave like gay, which is nonsense... on the other hand, im perfectly comfortable about how i look and i feel i would look even "gayer" if i could because i like men fashion- on men and on me as well, i pay high price for this- im always single but its who i am is there any step i can do to break this circle. i wanna "look" straight cos of relationships but not cos of my needs...
Anyone who dismisses you because of how you look isn't worth your time. Look for that man who can see beyond that.
There is a lot of pressure on women about looks, and depending on the country and culture you live in, the social pressure can get really tough. You are probably not interested on dating men just to pass some test of "feminine enough". Even if you did, the kind of men would only want you for your looks, and not for yourself. You have no reasons to doubt about your feminity : It's how you feel and act, how you see yourself. I think it's worth to wait for someone who won't judge your being because of the way you look or (in case of men) the size of your wallet. Besides money and "beauty" fade away or get lost, while the human you are underneath remains... Qualities like loyalty, warmth and being open minded do matter more than looks or money, at least in the long run. ... Or you can always spend a fortune on beauty parlors, clothes, make up, and put on a show just to get laid... Which might or might not work... The question is how you'll feel the next morning, and specially how you think you'd feel if you had to do this just to get affection for the rest of your days. There are many women out there doing this. Not all of them are happy. (Also men do stupid shit too...) It's up to you to decide what kind of life, and what kind of friends, you want around you. At the end of the day, regardless if you have a boyfriend or not, you'll be on your own, and at some point it'll be time to face a mirror and decide if you like that person or not. That's all that matters, you know...
There's not a lot I can add to what Michael already said, it is just that good. But I guess I do want to say that finding ways to boost confidence in yourself can help. And sometimes it can be just about meeting new people in a low pressure setting, and a change of scenery. While I'm only speaking for myself here, I found I get more questioning from others when I don't confidently assert who I am and what I want. But when I do find that confidence, it is a lot easier to make someone believe it. And I will add that to the right person, confidence itself can be incredibly sexy.
Just so I'm clear, you're a cis female tomboy who is perceived as a lesbian because of your tomboyishness? Sounds like you could solve that with careful fasion choices. I'd say try v necks, avoid polo/golf shirts and carpenter or baggy jeans. For whatever God aweful reason butch lesbians that cross dress tend to dress like overweight white guys, I guess to hide the girls mostly. Saddly the majority of people judge you on appearance before you get a word out. And straight people tend to assume others are straight and clock them as queer as they see "the signs". You can wear guy clothes and look feminine if you make the right choices and you will be amazed at how differently people perceive you. Also don't be afraid to indirectly confirm your orientation early on when meeting people, like the first time if you're interested in them and it's possible. First impressions are important. avoiding topics such as significant others, past relationships or dating interests is common with gay people and is avoiding makes people wonder and leaves room for assumptions. so bring those topics up to establish yourself before they form an opinion. There's no magical gay vibe you give off that alerts others it's all about your dress and your first impression.
It's harder to find a straight man interested in less feminine women, but it's definitely not impossible. It's not worth sacrificing your own comfort just to attract men. Dress how you want; style your hair how you want. There are still guys who will be totally into you, even if they're a bit harder to find, and those are the ones you want to date anyway. You don't want to settle for anyone who doesn't like you for who you are.
People need to stop assuming they can tell someone's sexuality based on how they dress. It annoys me a lot, as a lesbian, people sometimes tell me I don't look lesbian but it's like, your sexual orientation really has nothing to do with how you choose to dress. You could look for a bisexual guy in the LGBT community. I'm not saying straight guy's won't be accepting, because I'm sure there are plenty who would be, but there's always the possibility that you don't have to just date straight guys.
