Resources for non-binary gender identity?

I've felt like a gay man trapped inside an outwardly female identity my entire life. I'm biologically "female" and totally cool with that but because I inwardly feel masculine and outwardly embody a female- I feel like both, in equal parts. I'm an attractive chick on the outside though, which means I'm going to get attention from all sorts of people that are drawn to symmetrical females. Hah.

Are there resources for people who have no interest in undergoing an outward transition but are just trying to figure out how to navigate the social terrain and figure out where they belong?

In a certain sense, I envy those that feel compelled to alter their bodies, because it makes a clear statement to the world. I like my body though and am actually really turned on by androgyny and the seeming paradox, so I wouldn't want to change a thing.

Being inwardly male and outwardly female though- people will continue to perceive me as FEMALE and project all their cultural/personal notions of that onto me.

I get that it's inevitable, and I'm just trying to figure out how to handle it, and to figure out where I might find others like me.

I feel like a new creature- neither m nor f, and when I do decidedly embody one or the other, it just feels campy to me. It can be fun for sure, but only when I really embrace the drag element.

So, yeah, any tips at all? Or does anybody have any experience with this? How did you find the confidence to hold your ground and not be annoyed or set off track by other peoples' expectations of you based on outward appearances?:help:

 

Thank you! I have been accumulating some "role models" (sort of) and it does help a lot. The thing that strikes me as being something beyond just gender expectations is that I actually FEEL like a man inside- like mentally. I don't know quite how to explain it or what it means, but it's been a constant since I was a kid. I do attract alpha guys and when I ended up in a relationship in the past, it felt as if I was deceptively portraying a female (even if I didn't dress the cultural part or whatever). It's as if I wanted to flip my insides outwards so that they could understand that being with me, in some sense, meant being with a man as much as being with a woman. I felt as though they had mistaken me for something I am not- somehow they were not seeing clearly what was in front of them.

I don't know how else to explain it.

When I look at women who have bound their breasts and dress in distinctly dudes' clothes, I can relate BIG TIME- I even feel a massive relief just viewing an image of the transformation. I get the sense though, that that is not my path, and that mine will be a little more grey. I don't feel a need to alter my exterior and if I DID so, in my case, it would be just to avert societal expectations that are projected onto female forms.

I don't want to resort to that. I want to sit right in the middle, like I am and keep doing what I'm doing basically. I don't feel I should have to alter my body to appear male or female, or deny that I feel masculine within. Somehow I need to learn how to let the masculine aspect shine through the female form, without physical alteration. It will probably just be in demeanor and confidence. I was just looking to see if anyone else has had a similar experience.

 

This is awesome. Thank you.

---------- Post added 22nd Jan 2016 at 05:43 PM ----------

I identify with men dressing up as women, I don't identify with women dressing as men.