using public bathrooms has been a struggle for me since before i even realized i was trans. i can remember when i cut my hair short for the first time (i was about 10, that was the first time i started expressing myself genuinely before i began to suppress it) and getting stopped from using the womens bathroom because i looked like the little boy i was (though i didnt know it yet.) i felt wrong, like i had done something terrible and shameful, but i was just being myself. in high school, everything has become all the more frustrating. there is a mens room directly next to my history class, but i had to walk all the way to the front of the school to use the nurse's office bathroom because i was afraid of possible harassment and intimidation. we're lucky enough to have two gender neutral bathrooms, which a friend of mine got the administration to place a sign on the doors that says "KEEP UNLOCKED", but they never are, and even worse theyre both in the same hallway which means even more walking. but as i watched a cis boy walk into the mens room, i cant express how much jealousy i felt, how much anger and shame. why couldnt i have just been born into the right body? why do i have to be the freak who cant just take a piss with everyone else, get changed in the same locker room as everyone else, participate in sports with everyone else? it hurts so bad, and no matter what i do i just cant get over it. it makes me feel ashamed to be me. does anyone have any advice on dealing with this? im trying so hard but i just cant.
1. cisgender people can't choose to be cis. 2. freak by google definition is "a very unusual and unexpected event or situation." and since being transgender has more awareness I wouldn't call it unexpected. Unusual by google definition is "not habitually or commonly occurring or done." and whilst this is true, since it isn't unexpected by society [maybe for parents] I wouldn't call you or anybody else transgender ''freak''. 3. Couldn't you just asked to be placed in the sport that you want? I'm sure lots of other people, even if it isn't for transgender reasons, would like to choose the sports they play rather than be assigned it [or that's how it was at my school]. 4. If you get angry and aggressive, then perhaps take part in karate or boxing, which takes out aggression without actually hurting anyone.
thank you for replying. it helped a bit. the thing about sports is that theyre separated into boys and girls, and trying out for a boys sport means coming out to more people that i dont exactly feel comfortable doing.
I always find the thought of girl and boy sports. I know in the state I live a girl got her school to let her join the football team. She had played it her whole life with her brothers and saw no reason not to play in high school as well. And as a kid all sports my brothers and friends played in were co-ed. From baseball to soccer to bowling. And there are boys on the cheerleader squad despite people saying its a girl sport (if its a sport at all is another debate.) If you want to join the male team then just ask without mentioning being transgender.
