Worries about dating

Ok, I'm not going to sugar coat this but I don't want you to be discouraged either. When I first came out as a gay man a couple years ago I met a trans guy named Jack through a guy I was dating. This whole group of friends knew each other through a sleezy dive bar, the kinda place gay guys go to hook up and be slutty. Jack had a really hard time getting any action even though he was one of the hottest guys in the bar. He didn't come around much because the situation was frustrating, most of those guys thought he was hot but weren't into him because he was trans. He told me that he did date some, mostly people he met on ####### and most of them didn't hang around long. That seems to be the story for a lot of trans people, we have to work twice as hard because it's hard for many people to see past our birth sex, or even to see us as people instead of sexual objects. That said it's not all bad news. Jack got a fair amount of interest from bi guys, and there are trans-amorous people as well as people who are open minded and willing to give you a shot. You just have to stay positive and remember that you are being the best you that you know how to be. Don't think that you have to hang on to the first person who comes along or that you need to have sex In a way you're uncomfortable with to meet another person's expectations. As long as you keep putting yourself out there and don't give up, you will find someone who will love you for who you are.

 

Eh, I don't think it's as hard as most of us think it is. I've definitely had to answer more than my fair share of dumb questions, but once I physically transitioned, I didn't find it difficult to find gay men who are interested in me. Probably somewhat more difficult than if I was cis, but honestly, a lot of that can better be attributed to my own insecurities.

---------- Post added 26th Jan 2016 at 03:08 PM ----------

PS, ok cupid just made a post with user statistics and it said 25% of their user base answered yes to the question of whether they'd date a trans person. That's pretty good, especially considering two things I've found true in my experience: Gay people are more likely than straight people to be open to it and mite people are actually open to it than they think they are. That is, if they're interested in you and then learn you're trans, they're more likely to at least try it out than they are to actually seek out a trans person.

 

My question is, if you met another gay trans guy would you be willing to date them?

To some your heart will matter over your parts. Keep searching and good luck.

 

I have the same worry.

I don't worry about dating this much right now, though. If a guy got my eye and I knew he was into guys, I might try it. However, my trans status did disappoint me in the past. Though, see it this way. Being trans will actually weed out some people you wouldn't have liked to date anyway. If they don't like how you are, they are not meant for you

 

i don't know how metropolitan your area is but keep trying. i'd have no problem at all since it's the person that matters first.

the only advice i'd give would be to do your best to meet people face-to-face. apps are ok, i suppose, but be sure to meet in a safe, public space.