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Feeling self-conscious, ugly, and sad.

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Natasha Elyssa, Jan 30, 2016.

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  1. Natasha Elyssa

    Natasha Elyssa
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    I don't know why, but I've just got this over-whelming feeling of self-consciousness, and a feeling that I'm ugly and that when I'm post-transition I'll be ugly. I feel like I'm a reject and I'll always be that way. I feel like I'm not attractive. I have no motivation right now and I feel like I'll never be considered beautiful or pretty and that I'll never be happy. Especially since I'm overweight, my top lip is too small and my teeth force my mouth open, I can't seem to shave enough, most people around me hate me, I probably look half deformed to most people who see me, I look stupid when I walk around in public, I have to present as male in order to protect myself and it makes me look more dumb, I'm always tired, I have bags under my eyes, I can't smile without looking deformed, my teeth are yellow and even after brace look like redneck buck-teeth, my lips are dry and nasty, no matter how many showers I take and how good I wash myself I still smell like shit, everyone and there freaking mother looks at me in disgust or they look at me with the "I'm better than you" look. Etcetera! These were feeling that I had up until freshman year in high school. They're returning, and these feelings are dangerous to me. I feel like I'm supposed to hate myself, and that I should be locked away in a padded cell where nobody has to look at my ugly everything. :cry: :frowning2: :icon_sad:
     
    #1 Natasha Elyssa, Jan 30, 2016
  2. H20

    H20
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    These are normal feelings for any teenager I believe, as we all face body image issues, but no matter how strong these feelings get you have to remind yourself that you are absolutely beautiful and you always will be. Sure some people are more gifted in the looks department, but beauty is so much deeper than skin and besides, everyone has something wrong with their body. And I can see your picture Natasha and I think you're gorgeous. :kiss:

    Remember your worth is never decided by your size or your how white or not white your teeth are or aren't.

    And keep in mind that you're almost 18!!! :eusa_danc You have to only wait a year to graduate and leave home so you can share your absolutely beautiful self with the rest of us! And if others are actually looking at you in superiority or disgust, just brush it off. There are quite a few judgmental pricks in this world and many let false stigmas and stereotypes control their personality, and these are not people you want to let control how you think of yourself.

    You don't need to be locked up or hidden away because of who you are. It's understandable you're feeling like this though because you can't be your true self whenever you want because of your circumstances, but you're almost there! Don't give up hope. Just a little more patience, Natasha Elyssa.

    You may not choose all the events that happen to you, but you can choose not to be reduced by them. - Maya Angelou

    (&&&)(*hug*)
     
    #2 H20, Jan 30, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2016
  3. Mr Spock

    Mr Spock
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    To be honest, a lot of cis-girls have the same insecurities you're having right now. Try thinking of things you can do to make yourself feel better. Maybe a relaxing bubble bath, a face mask, teeth whitener from the store? If shaving constantly is discouraging, maybe waxing or using those chemical thingies (naire?) would help.

    I also know how you feel because before I realised I wanted to be more masculine I was very self-conscious about my baby face, small breasts and no hourglass shape. Eventually however I have some to terms with the fact that I am a beautiful person, not girl or boy,and so is 99.999% of everyone else I have ever met.

    Try to find small victories. Try a new makeup technique, or a new hair product, or buy some clothes you adore. Do something that makes you happy and pulls you out of this funk into looking forward to your bright and VERY beautiful future. Good luck! :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Mr Spock, Jan 30, 2016
  4. Natasha Elyssa

    Natasha Elyssa
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    Thanks. Both of you. I feel better now, after getting some sleep, but your words do help me feel better. ^-^ <3
     
    #4 Natasha Elyssa, Jan 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2016
  5. Kasey

    Kasey
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    Cis people have the exact same feelings just fyi.
     
    #5 Kasey, Jan 31, 2016
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