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having doubts about being trans?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by arieltyler, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. arieltyler

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've been feeling very masculine for a while now. I previously identified as genderfluid but I think that was because I was afraid to fully come out. the genderfluid label felt too feminine at times for me and I felt that I was fully male (I still feel this way). I've been in and out of the closet for around a year now, and there are still people telling me that there's "nothing masculine about me" besides the fact that I wear a binder and guy's clothes. I like putting on makeup because I view it as an art form but I don't really like wearing it aside from contouring to give my face a more masculine appearance. All of my other trans friends have been out for years and I feel like they sort of look down on me for only coming out so recently. I'm out to everyone, including teachers and administrators at my school. I'm 99.9% sure that this is who I am, but what if I later decide that this isn't who I am? I'm scared people will think I'm lying. Also, a side note, I have not yet started testosterone, though I would like to one day. I want a gender therapist because my regular therapist isn't very informed when it comes to trans things. also i have a LOT of top and social dysphoria. I don't think that this is a phase but what if I'm wrong?
     
  2. noname8387

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    You know yourself better than them. Also beig a man is not about being macho, it is about being who you are on the inside. You seem pretty sure lf your identity and it probably will not change and dont feel pressured to start T or to not start it because of other people :slight_smile:
     
  3. darkcomesoon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2014
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    1,359
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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    We've got a lot in common. I used to ID as genderfluid, people don't see me as being a very masculine person, and I've got a fair amount of dysphoria. And honestly, I'm endlessly worried that somehow this is going to be a phase and that I'm not really trans.

    Here's the thing. I don't think it's a phase. Not for you, and not for me. It's hard to shake the doubts, but you seem to know who you are. You've got dysphoria. You want testosterone. You feel comfortable IDing as male. That doesn't sound the sort of situation where it's going to be "just a phase". Dysphoria really doesn't just go away. A pretty consistent gender identity doesn't generally just go away. It's really hard to stop doubting yourself, but you know yourself better than anybody else does, and it sounds to me like you know your own gender. I don't think you're going to turn out to be wrong about it.