I've been having panic attacks late at night when I think about the future I've always been homeschooled and sheltered almost all my life I cant imagine a time away from my parents...I start sweating thinking that in only 3 years I'll be 18 years old...I am a really mentally dumb person so I have a hard time wrapping my mind around a good life for me when I get older. I am terrible at memory, and being a transgender person...I know I'll have to work extra hard. Thinking about the future has always made me upset because I feel like I wont be able to have fun and enjoy my life until I take testosterone. And after that, no romantic relationships until I get top surgery...especially sexual for bottom surgery. I felt like I was going to break my mind last night thinking about all this. It makes me sweaty and upset. Anyone else feel this way? =(
Anyone that is an older transperson and happy with their life now? Please just need to know if the future will be okay...
I sometimes worry about my future too, though I try not to think about it as much. I understand your concerns about being trans and having to work extra hard in the future - as well as in the relationship/sex aspect and enjoying life as who you are. So don't worry - you aren't alone in this. As hard and impossible as it seems, trans people of all different backgrounds and experiences have been able to successfully transition or to do whatever they needed and wanted to do to live their lives as who they are. It's just that there's sometimes very little coverage of trans people with different stories, growing up in different situations and contexts. Do everything one small step at a time- even buying an article of clothing that suits you, or for example, being on here, is a victory. It might be hard to still be positive especially if it's a particularly difficult road to walk, but it will be worth it for sure and I have no doubt that you will get there, and at least you can definitely come onto here for support and advice. Meanwhile, it might not be that easy to enjoy life, but try and find a few things you like doing and there are also some trans alliance and trans support groups on Facebook (just one example off the top of my head) that can be good places to make friends or get advice. As for the anxiety about growing older and moving out and all that, it's a slow but steady process- nobody gets it right immediately. I understand why you are worrying about it and that's fine, but if there are any practical steps you can take to prepare for it, including talking to your parents (you don't need to talk to them about your worries about transitioning if you don't want to, you can simply voice to them your concerns about moving away from them.) If they aren't supportive, once again there are resources and people online who can help and relate. I know it isn't easy but I know you'll be able to get there. I might not be able to offer that much practical advice, since at least for gender I'm currently pre-everything I want to do re: my transition, but I do offer you my support. Take care and hope things go well for you. EDIT: As for older trans folks who have had successful transitions and journeys, there are many trans youtubers who I like watching. You can search up uppercaseCHASE1, Ty Turner, and Skylarkeleven, though there are many, many more too.
