I've been questioning my gender for a while now and I am very confused, I was born female but I've always felt uncomfortable with that. I dream and pray about being male, I love to imagine myself as male, and I become obsessed with fictional male characters because I want to be them. For the longest time I've just ignored it, and I've pretended that I am ok with being female, and I don't know if i'd ever go through with the transition, but Its so hard being female. I believe in reincarnation and I find that I am waiting for death everyday so that I can come back as a male, btw I know I won't kill myself, but I can't help but feel really awful at the thought of living my life as a woman. I am 16 years old and already gone through female puberty, and most days I just can't wait until death so that I can come back as a guy. some of you are probably atheists, and I understand that, but that's what frightens me most. What if I die and this was my only chance at life and I wasted the entire thing as a female? lol I probably sound so stupid, but I just really need help to know if I am actually trans or not.
idk, I'm just not sure if I'd want to go through the transition, and I'm confused because I don't know what being trans feels like
I don't know much about being trans (and I'm sure someone here is happy to talk to you that does), but I know how hard being confused is. I'm sure that you'll figure it all out with time.
In these ways you sound very much like me when I was your age. I hated being female, I hated the body so much and would find myself almost in tears when looking in the mirror. But......I didn't think I could possible be trans. I mean trans people just knew that they were in the wrong body. They felt trans. While I had no idea how I felt. Turns out all the things I high lighted in your post, and the physical dysphoria I was experiencing was what it felt like to be trans. I don't know of any cis-female who have felt this way. I was depressed and just wanted to die so that I could come back as a guy, even though I was mostly atheist even when I was thinking that. I didn't see the point in trying hard in school, or of living life, or making friends because it would never be the way I felt it should be. Are you trans? I can't tell you that, that is only something you can decide for yourself. But I do know that there is no one way to be/feel trans. Some people have known since they were young, while others figure it out when they are 16, and others are well into adulthood when they connect those pieces. If you ever want or need to talk then feel free to hit up my wall.
