Earring-- left or right ear?

So, I didn't know where else to put this, and if it's in the wrong place a mod can move it. But it involves expression of my sexual identity so I thought I'd put it here.

Anyway, I'm thinking of getting an earring! One of my friends is a tattooist/piercer and I asked him if the "left is right, right is queer" rule still applied when a guy gets his ears pierced, to which he said he didn't really know, as he works in a pro-shop and does a hundred piercings a day and doesn't bother to ask guys about their sex life (he's straight) but he said he didn't think it really still applied. But I'm not entirely sure. I'd like to get my right ear pierced, but at the same time I don't want to rouse suspicions from my family that I'm gay.

So, does anybody know if the "left is right, right is queer" rule still applies in 2016? If it does, that's fine, if not, so much the better, it would mean it only means something to me and those who 'get it.'

 

Well, what do you mean?

 

I live in a blue state, if that helps.

 

Why not both ears? Because from what I understand maintaining an earring takes some work and I've never done anything like it before and I don't want to rush into things too quickly and mess up.

As for the "left is right, right is wrong" ideology, my first memory of it was seeing a man with an earring in his right ear when I was a kid and I asked my Dad why that man had an earring (I was a sheltered kid, I had no idea how the world worked, to an extent, I still don't) and my Dad said something like "He had an earring in his right ear, never, ever get an earring on your right ear," to which I asked why and he told me "It means you hate women."

So naturally now I want to get my right ear pierced, not because I hate women, but because of how adamant he was about me not getting my right ear pierced.

 

And I'm looking to draw attention to right kinds of people. I want to offend churchgoers and the people at the pharmacy but remain inconspicuous to my Mom and Dad, who were my age in the 1980s (the height of Reagan's America/AIDS panic) so what I think I'm saying is:

Would getting a piercing in my right ear attract attention to the right kinds of people while telling my parents that the "left is right, right is wrong" rule no longer applies even though in my case I want to look "wrong?" It should be of note that I got my hair frosted the other day, and my Mom looked at me funny (even though her haircuts cost upwards of five hundred and ninety dollars so she's really the last person who should ever judge me about the way I do my hair when she's done crazier things to hers and at several hundred dollars worth more than I spent on my forty dollar haircut).

My Dad, who as I've said, sweetest guy in the world, means well, but is a firebrand conservative Christian Republican already has a vague inkling that I'm gay and doesn't really care. (Hell, I've flat out told him I suck cock and he's said something like: "as long as you're not a communist that's A-OK in my book")

But my mother. My mother is a psychopath with a heart of gold who will not hesitate to break me down and try to control every aspect of my life, as per her Catholic/Jewish upbringing dictates that worry equals love and love equals guilt. I made a post about her attitudes, somewhere on here but it got buried awhile ago.

 

That is a viable option, yes. Like I said, my Dad doesn't really care what I do, but my Mom is much more involved in my life than I'd like.

Like, I'm just gonna run a simulation here:

(Dad sees me with an earring)
"Hey cool, you got an earring. You know left is right and right is wrong, though, right? You done goofed up, there, boy." Followed by a hearty chuckle and the sound of us cracking open beer and laughing at bad movies.

(Mom sees me with an earring)
"What the hell is going on with you? First you get your hair frosted and now THIS? Are you still gay? Your grandmother would be spinning in her grave, I can't believe you. I just can't believe you." Followed by possibly days of silence and/or insisting that I talk to someone 'professional' about my (assumed, on her part) sexual urges.

Granted, that's one of the many worst possible scenarios.

 

I know my grandmother isn't spinning in her grave, my Mom tends to use that argument whenever she sees something she doesn't like. The hair frosting was a real spur of the moment thing, I just sort of... went ahead and did it. My one friend said he liked it, but he thought it was highly uncharacteristic of me, though he did add "in spite of all that, I'm proud of you."

There's probably a piercer open today, but I am not leaving the house on the account that it's about two degrees outside and the wind is blowing hard-- it's way too cold to go anywhere. But I'll probably go do it in the near future.

My Mom, like my Dad, has a vague inkling as to my sexuality, but she's way deeper in denial about it. There was... an incident some time ago which forced me out of the closet temporarily and my Dad accidentally told her something about it thinking she already knew and she flipped shit on me. She flat out asked me "Are you gay?" And I flipped shit back on her, turning the tables turning into a 'homophobic bro' to try and hide it, but she saw right through my ruse, dragging me into the fire.

Like I said, my Dad doesn't care, so yeah, that's probably what'd happen with him. But my Mom is certifiably insane. We've thought about having her institutionalized, but in a post-Reagan America, that's hard to do. Though a lot of me thinks that may be overreacting.