How to deal with trans people dismissing non-binary or genderfluid people

Remind them that they are themselves in a really oppressed minority and that acting this way is really hypocritical. I have never met a person who wasn't part of the binary, but that's no reason to be a douche.

Also, remind them that you are not harming them by being yourself. There's not really much more to add, sadly :/

People are people, whether they are trans gay or something else. They will pick on others to appear better.

 

The only person you can control is yourself. I've always tried to make sure that the genderqueer and nonbinary people I have had the pleasure of knowing had room to figure out who they are and all the support I've enjoyed while they do it. I've failed sometimes and succeeded others.

At this point I'd like to invite you to examine the quote you posted, and ask yourself if it's divisive. I made the decision to transition medically. Having estrogen meant I could get a college degree, and could then turn around and help others. Was I wrong to do so? Is that quote suggesting it wasn't a need, that I would have been just fine without the medicine? I recognize there are people out there that are just as dysphoric as I was, that my medicine would not work for, or who can not afford my medicine. And I'll do everything I can to help those people. My medicine does not give me a perfect life. It doesn't prevent the days when an entire bus I still have to take home is screaming "what the fuck are you", whenever my hormones are off enough to cause me to retain water. We all have our own challenges and our own pain.

What we can do, is each of us, you, and me, decide that whoever the other is, is okay, what they need to do to get past their pain, is what the other will help with, any way we can. That's what community is. Whenever we're divisive, whenever someone like me tells you that nonbinary identities don't exist, we are simply not being a community to begin with.

Community is important while you are leaving the comfort of the closet. And it's important that people continue to support people that are starting their journey. A lot of us have to turn our backs on every person we've known and loved to be us. A lot of us end up homeless and hopeless. We have no choice. We can't continue living life the way we used to. If we want a world where being different is not a death sentence, we need a community.

That, is what community is for.

If the community isn't giving you what you need, then find new friends that are. There are enough of us out there that recognize all of us are going through the same bullshit. You don't need the approval of every LGBT individual, and you don't need to support every LGBT individual. If another trans person is attacking who you are, don't return fire - they are still one of us and still deserve love - but don't force yourself to endure their shit any more either. Walk away. They don't deserve you.

The goal is to get you to a place where you can live your life. Keeping your eye on that prize will let you deal with anything. And once you have won it, you'll be in a place where you can help that MtF person that is struggling to get medicine, if that's what they need, just as easily as you can help that person that is exactly like you and is struggling to deal with a nonbinary identity.

 

I would imagine it's not lack of empathy but hard for people to express how to commmunicate and refer to a person's gender, especially since most countries languages deal in binary.

Not being understanding or supportive however is the person's problem not yours.

Also I've said it before, just because everyone falls under a nebulous umbrella, doesnt guarantee frictionless relationships.

 

I'm on the binary, so maybe I don't really know what I'm talking about, but I don't like that quote. In certain parts of the community I just get the feeling that some people are trying to prove they have it worse than others. Sure, technically we should all get along, be accepting and all that, but in reality it's different. Some will constantly try to put other people down because they don't fulfill certain standards ("Oh, you don't have that kind of dysphoria? You can't be trans then" etc).
The quote also seems to suggest all binary trans people just transition without any hardship, of course that is not true. A lot of them will never be able to transition medically, for whatever reason.

When first entering the community, participating in message boards etc, I thought everyone would think alike. I was actually confused when some people had hurtful views on topics that weren't necessarily related to trans issues. It took me quite some time to figure out that trans and non-binary people are, well, just people. I can't get along with everybody, nor do I even want to. Some people will always be ignorant and bully others for whatever reason and in the end I figured that sometimes it's just best to turn away and not participate in certain discussions. You could probably try to convince all these people that they're wrong, but would it be worth all the energy?
Sure, it sucks when people who you thought were understanding turned out to be anything but that, but there are people out there who are in the same position as you are, maybe you just gotta look a little harder. I have the feeling that this forum is pretty accepting towards everybody.

 

I know you didn't mean it to be divisive, and I wasn't trying to point fingers :/ I was kind of worried that is how it would come across. I would get along just fine with the other eden, they seem pretty insightful and they made some good points as well.

It was more meant to show just how easy it is for us to group people and say things about them as a group. I do it a lot. I catch myself, but it still happens. And when we do that, we lose sight of each other as people, I think. All of this is very real for a lot of us, it has real consequences that go far beyond words. We're all in this together.

If being gender fluid works for you, I think anyone pushing you toward a more traditional transition is wrong. You're real. The way you feel is real. It has to have been hard for you to accept it, and you have accepted it. Dysphoria sucks dealing with. My way of getting past dysphoria may not work for you, but I'm happy to help, even if it's just listening and being compassionate, while you find a way past your dysphoria.

You asked how you'd continue transitioning. I'd like to answer with a question. What does it mean to continue transitioning?

Maybe it means you'd like to expand your breadth, so to speak? So you're capable of being more masculine or feminine if you'd like? Then I think the stories of us transitioners can help, and bits and pieces of a more traditional transition could work for you. If you decide on your own you'd like to take those steps, people like me who have transitioned are more than happy to help.

It sounds like you have a loving family who won't turn their backs on you. That's good. You and I should use every advantage we have to get past our problems, and not feel bad about it. Because once we do, we can help others.

In any event, I consider you one of mine and I hope you consider me one of yours.

 

I posted this a while back;

We see this through out history many times, it's nothing new. Something new comes along and people see it as a threat as they don't understand it or think it affects them, so they rebel against it. Then, overtime, people begin to find that it doesn't affect them much and there's no threat so then they leave and move onto the next thing. My guess, based on homosexuality and transgender, it'll take about 40 years to find acceptance. Seems long, but hopefully those who accept NB can help make that time shorter.

 

Request sent You're cool people (*hugs*)

I think this is worth mentioning here. I'm also not a "package deal" myself. I don't have the parts of my body that make hormones I am so so glad to be rid of, but I still have the part that's next to them. And given that it costs a fortune to get rid of if I'd like to be able to be intimate with my girlfriend still, I probably always will. And I'm comfortable with that. My dysphoria's dealt with and that's all I really wanted, not to conform to anyone's ideas of what a boy or a girl is, but just to feel better. There are people that would consider me a man, and that's fine. I go to work as a woman, I've legally changed my name, and my girlfriend likes me and my body, so everyone else can kick rocks.

So I mean, it's whatever you wanna do, you know?

I think if you get to know more people you'll find a lot of the trans community is supportive though. It's like what Aaron and Secrets said, we're all just people.

Anyway I'll stop hogging the thread