For you pre-op or pre-hrt trans folks, what ways have you found to cope with gender dysphoria, and feel better in your own body? This is especially for people like me who don't even present as their gender in everyday life. I have some super feminine clothes I like to wear around my house when no ones here. I also have a feminine hairstyle that makes me still look like a guy. I think having those who accept you use the right pronouns and name can also really make you feel better about yourself too. What do you do?
I'm not out to anyone so everything I do is quite a private thing. (Also I'm a trans dude so...it's more relevant to transmasc people ) You also mentioned about people who don't present as their gender in everyday life, I do (more or less...I present quite masculine) but I'll contribute a few things to this thread in case what I do helps anyone. -Binding -Buying, wearing men's clothes (including boxers) -Packing (even without a proper packer) -Using the right name and pronouns with myself -Being on EC, or somewhere I can be more of myself -For some reason, some songs make me feel better and more validated with my gender -Watching certain shows with male characters I can really connect with (though this can also backfire because some days I get pretty envious that I don't look like them/people don't see me as male whatsoever) -Keeping a private gender diary where I record my progress and thoughts -Keeping some photos where I'm especially happy with how I look gender-wise (I don't show these to anyone, but can make me feel better on worse days)
Wearing men's clothes, especially formal clothing and - brace yourself - I sometimes go shirtless wearing only board shorts in the mirror. For some people this can trigger but for me I have not too big of a chest so it's not too bad, and it makes me feel very manly.
I try to ignore my breasts and don't look in the mirror. I have changed hairstyle and glasses so looking at my face in mirror now feels ok. I wear male clothes (more unisex and rather suitable for my body) and that helps a little.
In general, give yourself time to feel. Allow the feeling to come. It's like lying on the beach and a wave is crashing over you (assuming it's not a really big one). It comes and you might feel a bit cold or uncomfortable for a while, but then it passes, and you'll dry up and be ready to get on with life. Focus on your possibilities rather than your limitations.
Can't afford anymore to wear drag for mental health reasons (wearing and specially seeing myself with the wrong clothes would give me something I'd rather not think about). I can't bind. Something that helps some guys gives me even more anxiety (even wearing sports stuff everyday is another daily battle), so I'd rather not wear anything at all when I'm at home. It bothers me still, but the sensation of having a chest and back free from any kind of clothing makes me feel good... sometimes. Packing doesn't help either (haven't really tried), but I need to use the bathroom the right way, so I use all kinds of home made STPs. I'm working on overcoming the anxiety of buying and using a real STP, it's taking a lot of effort... I'm obsessed with compliments about my masculinity. Every single compliment is treasured, and goes straight to my self stem mental bank. When I'm feeling down, I remind myself 'This person said you had a low voice', 'That person said you were quite masculine looking', 'You passed the other day, and no, they were not taking the piss, they meant it'... Also I remind myself often when a girl gave me a funny look... Probably it didn't meant it that way (she must have probably wondered what I was), but hell, I live on a free country, and I need those dreams, you know... To imagine my future self when I look at the mirror. I try to imagine how T will change my face, I imagine myself with facial hair. I also work on my voice, and have my fun changing it on my computer, using software. And lucky me I have very old files from years ago, when my voice sounded even more awful than now. I can play first the old file, and then the new file and see progress. EC has done a lot for me, and it continues to do so. This forum has been there since my first baby steps, and it feels good to be here and listen to each other's stories, rants and encouragement. My friends, and part of my family. Some of them know the real me. The rest... Well, I don't care... For the shower, it can distract you to listen to some music you like, and shower in the dark. I only have shampoo, wash gel and soap for obvious reasons... And some days I'll pick the wrong one... Shaving my face, even if there is not much there. There are some days when I can't even stand my own reflection on a mirror. I just avoid mirrors. When I'm feeling so down that nothing seems to help, I just go to bed and sleep 10-15 hours... Or as many hours as I can sleep. Some days are just too much to take, we are only human. Some days nothing will fix you, so instead of going crazy and blaming yourself, you save the energy for the next day...
