Hi. I'm a girl.. Keep that in mind. All my life I have liked boys.. Been boy crazy.. Loved them to death. When I got into high school I got introduced to lesbian people.. I thought it was revolting (I'm sorry if I offend) I always knew that it was not the life for me.. Well two years ago a thought popped into my head "what if I was gay.. What if I liked girls" and I hated that thought. I still do. I don't want to be gay I can't see myself with a woman. At all. The thought of me dating a girl makes me want to violently hurt myself. I'm scared that if I am gay my family won't accept me.. I'm afraid of being judged and il that if I am gay that I will hate myself and won't be happy. I am literally scared of the thought of being gay. I've researched and I might have hocd. But I just don't know anymore! When I look at girls pictures I get turned on a little but when I think of doing anything with one in real life I want to puke but at the same time dicks look nasty to me.. Do straight girls feel the same? I'm so confused. Can someone please honestly help me? I've been suffering for years. I need it to stop. Please help.
Hi I have to start off saying that nobody can tell you your identity only you truly know how you feel but I can offer you some suggestions to try and head you in the right direction. It's cool, I used to be uncomfortable not of the idea that there are lesbians because that's fine but of people seeing me as one because I never felt that's who I am. If you find that you are gay don't worry, its totally fine and normal there is no need to hate yourself. As for your family, if your not sure if they'll be accepting try dropping in something about the topic of being gay in general in conversation and see how they react. You might have a clearer idea of how safe it is to come out to then afterwards. You say you hate the thought of dating a girl, this sounds like you have no romantic attraction towards them, however you also said that you get a little bit turned on when you look at girls pictures but don't like the idea of doing anything in real life which sounds similar to homolithsexual/ homoakiosexual. It might be worth researching to see if that describes how you feel. I'm not entirely sure what you man by 'dicks look nasty' that could be repulsion to genitalia or if you mean you wouldn't want to get intimate with a guy that's sex repulsion. Good luck, I hope this helps
Hi thanks for the reply! this post made me a feel a little better.. But I honestly think I suffer from hocd.. I find myself still looking at females but I have no attraction what so ever.. Idk what's wrong but I know I can only be happy with a man and settling down in the future with a man. And saying that is like a breath a fresh air but I do think it really is hocd because I'm the past I had an obsessive thought that I had cancer and I would always Google like symptoms or something to get my self to relax and it's the same thing with this.. I always have to go on the Internet to get reassurance.. Idk if that makes sense but honestly deep down inside I know I'm straight I just have to for some reason convince the other side of me that I am not gay lol ugh I sound crazy. But yea it will go away soon hopefully
Ah you don't sound crazy ^-^ It sounds like you're going through a frustrating time and i hope you start to feel better about this soon
