Hey, I really need help because I don't even know if I wanna be a guy or a girl it's been a while that I'm thinking about it and it makes me more and more confuse btw I don't wanna be like both or something like that like to don't suggest myself as a guy or a girl. Example like I like being a girl to wear make up but not all the time just when I want too but now no... I guess... It's like I just wanna look more like a tombboy or a guy or I don't know... Iv'e always been a tomboy growing up, Iv'e always played with guy toys when I was little and some clothes too and for me putting a dress at the time was the most horrible thing! Since I was young Iv'e always looked out to my cousins that we were spending a lot of time together and just wanted to be like them. Then I got more girly like maybe 3 or 4 years ago... But now I'm so confuse. Iv'e always had in my self like a feeling like a guy and not being myself Iv'e always felt that. For my clothes it's like I'm tired of being like a girly girl or wearing really girly stuffs or whatever... It's like I don't wanna be this person anymore. So from a few weeks ago Iv'e been wearing like tomboy clothes that I have cause I don't wanna wear my girly clothes it's like when I'm choosing what to wear I look at my girly clothes and just don't wanna wear it same thing when I'm fixing myself in the morning. I look sometimes at my make up and say no I don't wanna be a girly girl anymore and to be honest I don't really care about make up so... It's like when I look at myself in the mirror I feel like I'm just a girl not like the others and that I'm forcing myself to be like the other girls... Right now I'm thinking about cutting my hair short I want too but at the same time no cause it's like I'm just too scared that's the problem... And I feel like I wanna wear guy clothes. Sometimes I look at the guy clothes compared at the girl clothes and I just so imagine myself buying guy clothes and everything its like I just like the style of clothes and want to buy it or whatever (I don't really know how to explain it). Sometimes I imagine what it will be like being a guy and in my head it's like it feels so perfect cause I don't feel myself. There is some days that I wanna be a girl, a day that I wanna be a guy or some days that I wanna be I don't know and it's just all fixed up I try to forget about it but I just can't... What is weird is that I don't really have a problem with my body but at the same time yes so it just more confuse me...But the problem of all that is that is that my mom will never accept it being trans, cutting my hair or whatever all these stuffs she will think that I'm crazy and weird and I'm really scared about what the other people will think...
It seems that a lot of this is based off of the clothes you wish to wear. Picture yourself as a man, using male pronouns, everyone seeing you as male, and living as a male. Does this seem appealing to you?
Well the first thing you need to know is that you're not alone. It's kind of weird actually, I posted almost this exact post, super long, same topics, similar title, and we have the same sexuality and gender in our profile, you should check out the post and responses I got on my post, "So confused... am I trans?" I think they'd help. I have been struggling with this too, and I've come to the conclusion that I'll never be happy if I try to live the way other people think I should. Keep exploring your gender; dress up in male, female, and neutral outfits, maybe get a gender neutral haircut (I really want one.) Get to know yourself, and live your life how you want to live it, not they way you think other people would like to see you live it.
If you like make-up that's fine. If you more masculine clothing, that's fine too. It doesn't matter what you like. Guys can like make-up and dresses. Girls can hate that and like wearing more masculine clothing. That's what makes gender identity so complicated. You can still be a guy while liking girl stuff and the other way around. What you like doesn't describe what gender you are. Only you can figure out if you are a guy or a girl or whatever not. Don't worry about trying to be masculine or feminine. Just try to experiment with stuff. Try pronouns. And sometimes people may call you a guy by accident. Try to notice how you feel by then. Talk to your pet or a rock or whatever and introduce yourself and say that your a boy or a girl. Talk to yourself in a mirror. If you need anymore help VM or PM me.
TiaKay, as my parents told us, if you are gay, bi, transgender, space alien or anything else, who cares. My parents said as long as you are happy with the choice you want, then so be it...
